Life~Love~Laughter~Lori

Just Not the Same. . .

2012-02-14T21:14:00.000-08:00

I just don't feel like myself when I don't write. There is something so therapeutic about writing, at least for me. It is a way to take all of the thoughts and feelings that I have and put them down where I can read them in black and white. A place where I can examine the words and understand a little bit more about what they mean and how I feel.

I have had a lot of changes in my life the last several months. So what else is new, right? But some of the changes have really made me stop and think about who I really am and what path my life is supposed to take. Even at the age of 42, I still don't feel like I have life figured out. Maybe I never will.

Over the past 6 months, I have had to learn how to be a full-time working mom again. This transition has not been easy. The guilt I have felt about not being here for my kids has been powerful. Sometimes all consuming. I feel like even though they are not little kids that I am still abandoning them in some way. I am no longer here when they come home. I am no longer available for them during the day. If they forget lunch money, oh well. If they forgot their homework, too bad. The worst part is knowing that my youngest is home every single day for several hours after school until someone else gets home. I realize that he is not a baby, but I just hate that I am not here. The other side to the guilt is the fact that even when I am here, I am so emotionally and physically drained that I am no good as their mother even when I am home. I hate it. I really need to find some kind of balance in my life. I long for it.

It is kind of funny because I remember having such a struggle 19 years ago when I quit working to stay at home and raise my kids. I REALLY struggled the first several months. I had been working full time since I was 16 years old and to all of a sudden be a stay-at-home mom was a shock to my system. There were times when I would sit and cry because I just wanted to get out of the house and have a break so bad I couldn't stand it. There were months when I really wanted to go back to work. After a while I settled in and realized that being home was where I wanted and more importantly needed to be. I always figured I would go back to school at some point and start working again, but that seemed so far away. Now here I am working again and wishing I could go back to staying home. Why is it the grass always seems to be greener on the other side?

I am hoping that I will settle into a working routine again soon and that the guilt will subside. I know we need the extra income and I know I have student loans that need to be paid off, so I will somehow make it work. I think that it won't be so bad if I could just figure out how to work less hours each week. Work has consumed my life to the point where I have no life besides my work. It is all encompassing and I miss having a life outside of my job. I have literally worked 6-7 days a week since August. I am frustrated. I am burned out.

The other part of the changes in my life is what I like to refer to as "family drama". I won't mince words here: family drama sucks! Besides the fact that work is consuming me, I have had to deal with this roller coaster of emotions on the family drama train and I really need off the ride. As horrible as it sounds, I just don't have it in me to play the games and to be sucked into the drama that has been created by a really stupid situation. Life is too short to be in a constant state of upheaval and drama. I just don't want any part of it. I would rather wash my hands of the situation and move on then to play into the drama and the games. It may sound harsh, but I just cannot continue to be hurt over and over again. At some point enough is enough. The lies have to stop. The talking about each other behind each others backs needs to end. Holding onto the past and bringing it up over and over needs to quit. Oh, and by the way, just for the record, I am not the person I was at age 12, or 15, or even age 30. None of you have gotten to know me in many, many years, so please do not make assumptions about who I am or what I may or may not feel or be thinking. You really don't even know me, and you have chosen NOT to know the real me. You know a person who you think I was many years ago, not the person I am today.

Whew! That was a lot of unloading! I guess that is what happens when you keep so much bottled up inside for such a long period of time.

I realize that everything I wrote is just for me. It won't benefit anyone else, but boy does it feel good to let it out.

Hello? Anybody There?

2012-01-01T22:14:00.000-08:00

Wow! How is it even possible that I haven't uttered a single word on my blog since July? There have been so many times that I wanted to write. Honest! I have had so many thoughts and feelings running through this brain of mine and sometimes the only way to get them out and to make sense of it all is to write it down. It just seems that no matter how hard I tried to find a minute or two to write, I just didn't have the time. Finishing up my ELED degree and starting a new job kind of kicked my butt the last few months.

2012 is here! I can hardly believe it. The whole holiday season went by and it never felt like the holiday season one bit. I wish it had. I miss the days of getting so excited to pull out the decorations, set up the tree, and wrap all of the gifts to put underneath it. This year I didn't even want to set up a tree at all! In the end, my middle son made sure that the tree and a few decorations were put up.

Christmas was fun. My kiddos were spoiled much more this year than in the past few. Things financially have been so difficult for us since our horrible, horrible 2009-2010 experiences. Honestly, I would just like to forget that those two years ever took place. Unfortunately for us, we will have a constant reminder of those years while we continue to put the pieces back together. Sigh. Oh well, things are definitely looking up for 2012!

Highlights of 2011

I lost 36 lbs. WAHOO! Stress and watching what I eat played a large role in that. In 2012, I want to lose 4 more pounds and start running again :)
No major surgeries or injuries to report from anyone in my household! It's a MIRACLE!
I FINALLY, yes, FINALLY graduated with my Bachelors in Elementary Education with an ESL endorsement!!! It seems surreal, but I did it!!! And, can I brag for just a minute? I will be graduating with a 3.9 cumulative GPA. It was a lot of hard work, but worth it.
I got my first teaching job. I get to teach 25 fifth graders each and every weekday :) Sometimes I think that they teach me more than I will ever teach them.
My hubby got a new job assignment that puts him home more. Which is great because with the hours I am working right now, I could use all the help I can get around the house and with the kiddos!
My oldest son started college! HOORAY! I have been hoping for 2 years that he would start and he finally did!
We didn't move! You would have to understand how many moves we have had over the years to know how fabulous that truly is! It was so nice to stay put! We will actually celebrate 2 years in our home in March. Gotta love that! If we can make it passed 3 years and 4 months here, that will be the longest I have EVER lived anywhere in my ENTIRE life! Yes. True.

Those are just a few of the highlights that I can think of. I am sure that there are many, many more. 2011 was definitely an improvement over the two prior years and so here is hoping 2012 will be even better!!!

Watch for 2012 resolutions to be posted soon! :)

Service.

2011-07-31T23:38:00.000-07:00

Wow! It has been a while since I have updated. It isn't because I don't want to, or because I don't have anything to say. Believe me, I always have something to say. I have just been so busy with school and with getting ready for the school year to start, that I haven't actually taken the time to sit down and write.

Today in my Sunday School class, the lesson was on Service. The feeling you get from helping someone else with no expectations in return is pretty great. As I pondered the lesson, I thought of a feeling that is even greater than serving others. What is it? Well, I think the most satisfaction I have ever had from the gift of service is when I witness my own children doing it. Watching them give freely of their time and helping others is a feeling like no other.

A couple of weeks ago my son was driving by a girl who was stranded on the side of the road. She had her hood up and was standing there looking lost. He stopped and asked her if she needed help. At first she said she didn't. He asked her if she was sure that she didn't need help. Well, come to find out this girl had just moved here from out of state. She is getting ready to start college and doesn't know anyone in town. She had run out of gas and did not have anyone she could call for help. She also did not have any money to put gas in her tank. My son took her and used his own money to fill her tank. As they were standing there filling the tank, the girl started to cry. She said that the following day was her birthday and that this was the best birthday gift that she could ever hope for. She was touched by my son's generosity and by the fact that he was willing to help a stranger.

My son has no expectations for repayment of the gas. He just sincerely wanted to help someone who was in a bind and needed help. This isn't the first time he has done something like this. As a mom, when you see your children do unselfish things and give the gift of service whether it be to someone they know and love, or to a complete stranger, it makes you stop and think that maybe, just maybe somewhere along the way you have done something right as their mother.

Will You???

2011-06-20T16:22:00.000-07:00

Why does a body like that have to be SO hard to have after the age of 40? *SIGH*

Okay, so I may never look like that, but at least I can get my body into shape, right? Diet, exercise, and discipline.

All I want is to feel good and to be able to run again! I have been dealing with plantar fasciitis for a while now and so there has been NO running for me :( I think I am FINALLY ready to start up again though. As long as I take it slow and don't over train, hopefully I will be able to run my favorite 10K race again this Fall!!! That is the plan :) :) :)

Childhood Memories of 1400 N.

2011-06-12T18:36:00.000-07:00

At first I thought I was going to write a poem. Then I decided that I would just write all the memories I could think of that were tied to this childhood home. Maybe someday I will take the list and make a poem, or write a story. For now the random list will do. They are in no particular order. I just wrote down what came to mind as it came to mind.

901 W 1400 N

Light Blue Ford

Gold Mustang

The Ericksen's

Jay

Bell

Jennie

Matt

Baby Bryan

Barefeet

The Hones

Picking dandelions

Finding ladybugs by the stream

Searching for four leaf clovers

Sledding down derby hill

Biking down derby hill

Gene Elliot Dance Studio

Lions Park

Miniature Golf Course

Candy from the Golf Shack

Nortons

Hawkins

Grandview Hill

Grandview Elementary

Week Day Primary

Getting my first bike

Learning to ride a bike without training wheels

Riding Bikes

Getting stitches

Bandit

Scruffy

Tiger

Big Blue Station Wagon

Blue Toyota Corolla Wagon

Orange Truck

Running through the sprinklers

Calling on the phone to find out the outside temperature

Playing dress up

The red lace dress

The light blue lace dress

Playhouse

Birthday parties

Clothes hanging on the line to dry

Camping at Deer Creek

Fishing

Heber Creeper

Sandbox

Geneva Park

Geneva Steel

Starting Kindergarten

Mrs. Hawkins

Starting 1st Grade

Miss Webb

Starting 2nd Grade

Shag carpet

Deer Jerky

Big Wheels

Riding inchworm

Hippity Hops

Homemade wood stilts

Dr. Nance

Dr. John

The Christmas House

Nanette’s Beetle

Donny Osmond

Purple socks

GI Joe

Lone Ranger

Tonto

Sunshine Family

Climbing the lattice arch on the patio

The Dunns

The Olsens

The Clarks

Hotel Balderdash

Santa Clause delivering gifts

Perfection

Superfection

White fireplace

Crystal Swag Lamps

Rubber Boots

Polaroids

Turquoise Jumpsuit with Red Zipper

Baby Sister

Dad's Guitar

Pleather Furniture

July 4th Parade at BIC Building

The "Limp"

Grandma moving from Colorado

Downtown JC Penney

New Kitchen Window

Losing my best friend to Orem

New neighbors

St. Bernards

I realize this list means nothing to anyone else but me. It was pretty fun to see how many things I could think of from SO LONG ago :)

Summer?

2011-06-06T21:55:00.000-07:00

Is it Summer? Really? I think I have forgotten what the FUN days of Summer are supposed to be! Last Summer was spent dealing with Jake's head injury. Time in Primary Children's. Back and forth for check ups after he was released from the hospital, and trying to get settled in our new home. There was no vacation. No down time. No fun.

This Summer isn't much different. I have been so busy getting ready to teach 5th grade next year that I haven't had time to do anything fun. Nada. Nothing. Zero. Zilch.

To top it off, I only have 12 short days of freedom left before I am back attending another class at the college. Then I will be trying to get ready for next school year while doing homework and attending class. What kind of a Summer is that? Not much of one!

I find life a bit funny right now. You see, my FAVORITE thing to do is travel. I love leaving town and exploring other places. . .wanna know something sad? I haven't been on any kind of vacation (short or otherwise) since January 2009. What is up with that? HECK, I haven't even left the city I live in for an overnight trip of any kind since I went to the scrapbook expo in March! What the? Man, my life is BORING!

I think I am feeling a bit antsy. I wish I had the time and the resources to take off and do something fun. We used to try and take a family vacation of some sort every year. We haven't done that in so long that I think my kids have forgotten what a family vacation is!!!

Oh well, enough of the pity party. I must remember to be thankful for what I have and not worry about what I don't have. Right? Right!

I think I must be getting a little stir crazy. Too much time working and not enough time playing. It will all be worth it after I graduate in December. Right???

One Step Closer. . .

2011-05-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

One step closer to being done with my journey to my bachelors degree. It is exciting and strange all at the same time. It has been a long process with a lot of starts and stops along the way. At times I wondered if I would ever be done, now there is finally light at the end of the tunnel.

I officially have 2 classes and student teaching until I am finished with my degree. My degree will be a Bachelors in K-6 Elementary Education with an ESL (English as a Second Language) Endorsement. It almost doesn't seem real that I am so close to being done.

The crazy part about all of this? Well, I won't ever student teach. How? The school district had 3 internship positions open up for next school year. I decided to go ahead and apply (even though I felt the odds were against me getting a position). I applied, and I was awarded one of the 3 positions. I will officially be teaching a 5th grade class next school year. I was in shock for about a week. Even though I am extremely nervous, I think it will be a great opportunity to learn and grow in the teaching profession.

Because of my internship, I have to take one of my two remaining classes this summer. Between that and getting ready for next school year, I won't have much of a summer break, but it should all be worth it in the end.

It is hard to believe that I am so close to actually having a real diploma in my hands. . .

YES, Indeed!

2011-05-16T23:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just see a quote or something that catches my eye and have an "Ahhh, ha, moment". They just seem to fit so well for that time in my life. When they do, I just have to share them :)

Sometimes something as simple as this is easier said than done! It is so easy to get caught up in all the "wants" in life. Taking a step back sometimes helps put things back into perspective.

So, I was going through my blog, and I realized that I haven't even blogged about all the changes going on for me this Fall! What? Well, watch for a post about my exciting news coming up soon :)

This Girl. Take Two.

2011-05-01T06:47:00.000-07:00

Quite some time ago I did a post called, "This Girl" that was inspired by another post I had read on another blog. For my LA class, we had to write a personal narrative, my mind immediately thought of that blog post. I decided to give the original post an overhaul and turn it in for my assignment. Here is what I came up with. . .

This girl.

She is as complicated as an algebraic equation, as faceted as a diamond, and as colorful as a rainbow peeking through the clouds after a summer rainstorm.

A Wonderer. A Silent Musician. A Creator of what she considers art. Her eyes see things others do not. Books fuel her. Her husband and children complete her. She is who she is without apologies.

She has hopes, dreams, and ambitions. . .never told to others, because of the fear that if they are spoken, they may never come true.

She learns. She grows. She makes mistakes, and then she tries again. But, oh how she hates making mistakes! Perfection is unattainable; yet, still something she strives for. Perfection frustrates her, complicates her life, and makes her wish that sometimes she could just be free from its bonds. She knows that no one is perfect and is harder on herself than anyone else would ever be. Perfection is her greatest fault, yet one of her driving forces, and one of her greatest assets. Perfection is her double-edged sword.

She is a friend. A confidant. A great listener. People come to her with problems, and she sincerely cares and wants to help. A loyal friend is one she will cherish for a lifetime. A friend she can laugh with, or cry with, will capture her heart forever.

Alone time rejuvenates her, and gives her time to sort out life’s complications; lets her remember who she is and what she believes. Reflections on the past, ambitions for the future, being happy with the here and now; they all make up who she is when she stands in front of the mirror and looks at herself staring back at her.

She loves to photograph, but despises being photographed. She finds comfort behind the camera and apprehension in front of it. She has constant dreams of traveling the world, meeting people from all cultures, learning from them, learning about them, and calling them her friends.

Wrinkles, age spots, and an occasional gray hair, remind her that 40 came far too quickly, and she cannot run or hide from it. She still feels 20 something, no matter what her driver’s license says.

She never wants to feel old. She has seen what time can do. . .forgotten memories lost to Alzheimer’s. The confusion and frustration in the eyes of her grandmother, as her only son became a stranger. Time can be brutal. She knows age can erase a lifetime of celebrations, and leave you wondering who you are.

She smiles often, sometimes even when she doesn’t want to, and sometimes to mask the pain she feels inside. Cherished moments fill her thoughts: the miracle of birth, unconditional love, and hope for the future. Seeing the glass half-full, even when it isn’t always easy.

She is a person who genuinely loves life; laughs as often as possible; tries to find the good when there only seems to be bad. She knows that when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.

She is layered. Layers that are hidden. Layers that are shared. Some simple, some serene. Some deep, some complex. Some that she understands, some that she wishes she could peel away. Layers she has yet to uncover, even to herself.

This girl? This girl is me: hoping, laughing, dreaming, living. A voyage of self-discovering; an awakening as to who I am, and who I want to be.

Coupon Mania!

2011-04-18T11:36:00.000-07:00

Yep. I have jumped on the coupon bandwagon. I know. I know. I really do know how some people feel about "couponers". I was the same way myself. I thought it wasn't worth the effort and I thought that only "poor" people used coupons. Boy was I wrong on both accounts!

I have only been using coupons since the first of March. So, it is all pretty new to me. However, I have to say that I am AMAZED at how much money I save. Actually, I am pretty darn mad that I have EVER paid full price for some of the items I have paid full price for over the years!

Today was pretty fun. I ended up scoring 8 FREE bottles of body wash and some other screaming deals!

Here is my loot from today:

There are some pretty high ticket items in there, like the body wash ($4.99 each, regular price), deodorant ($3.54 each, regular price), and the Olay Regenerist Face Wash ($5.99 each, regular price), the Connect-4 Game ($19.95 regular price).

The retail price of the items I purchased to day was, are you ready for it? It was, $131.72. Yep. In years past, that is exactly what I would have paid for it too.

Today? Well, today, I paid a total of $23.64. Yes indeed! I saved just over 83% on my purchases today. I am pretty happy about it too :) Especially since none of the stores in my area double coupons. If they did, my total would have been MUCH less than that!

So, basically I got all of the items above for only $3.69 more than what I would have just paid for the Connect-4 game alone!

It is definitely the thrill of the hunt when I go shopping now. I try and see how low I can get that total to go before I walk out the door.

The cashier was pretty impressed today. He gave me my first total, and then when I handed him my coupons and he finished the final total he said, "Holy cow! That's crazy!" I just smiled and left the store thinking about how much money I saved and how my stash at home is growing by the minute at relatively little or no cost to my family. Gotta love that!!!

Burned Out.

2011-04-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

The end of this semester is almost here. If I can just hang on for a few more weeks, I will have some FREEDOM (well at least from homework/school)! I am setting my sights on the first week of May, and looking forward to it :)

Next week is going to be brutal. A week from today will be a small celebration along the road to finals week. I have several large assignments, two large presentations, a professor observing and evaluating me teaching in practicum, some quizzes, and a TON of reading, oh, and let's not forget internship interviews. That list is just what I have to get done for school.

None of that includes cleaning my house, doing the laundry, fixing meals, grocery shopping, running errands, church calling/responsibilities, and being a wife and mom.

Just keeping my fingers crossed that May 5th gets here sooner rather than later!!!

Memories.

2011-03-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

So, I have a commercial to share. Funny story behind this one. Every time I see it, I cry. I think of my daughter and wonder how it is she grew up so quickly. Now, in a sweet email from my dad, he told me that he thinks of me when he sees it. GREAT! Now I will cry twice as hard when I watch it! I will cry about the thoughts of my own daughter, and then at the thoughts of my own father thinking of me. I guess I will just have to keep a box of tissues handy when I watch TV just in case this commercial comes on! :)

You Read My Mind!

2011-03-14T16:37:00.000-07:00

Hey, didn't I just say something along these same lines a few blog posts ago? I guess they read my mind! :)

We are enjoying the glorious weather so far this week on Spring Break. I hope the sun just keeps on shining ALL WEEK LONG! :)

ONE Year Anniversary!

2011-03-05T06:58:00.000-08:00

It is official! This morning marks the one year anniversary of the first morning we woke up in our new home! We closed on the home on March 4, 2010 and slept here that night. Well, more like "camped" here that night! The kids all slept on the floor in sleeping bags, but they loved every second of it!

It really doesn't feel like it is possible that it has been an entire year since we moved in. I remember the day VERY clearly. The new house smell. The brand new paint. The new carpet. No scuff marks on the walls. Perfection!

My middle son and I did most of the moving. It was Spring Break, and I worked his tail off helping me get stuff moved in the house. My hubby was out of town working, and we didn't want to wait for him to get home before we started moving. We were WAY too excited to wait!!! My dad also was a huge help getting us moved in. He and "Bones" moved a lot of the big items. All that was left to move in when my hubby got home was the refrigerator, piano, a large armoire, and a few larger garage items :)

We LOVE it here! There is still a lot of stuff we need to do, like putting in the backyard! But, we have the rest of our lives to get the home just the way we want it!!!

Happiness.

2011-02-25T11:46:00.000-08:00

Happiness is a funny thing. I have been thinking about it a lot. There have been so many times in my life when I have attached my happiness to "things". Bigger houses, nicer furniture, newer cars, nice clothes. The funny thing about attaching your happiness to those items is the fact that the happiness they bring is so fleeting. It is new and exciting at first, then that feeling leaves, and it is time to move onto the next "thing" to fulfill the feeling of being happy.

I remember when we were on the hunt for our home up north, and all I could think about was the home we currently lived in. The home we were living in was a home that in my opinion was pretty homely. Don't get me wrong, we had gutted the entire home and remodeled it. The inside was nice. It wasn't as big as I thought we needed, but I liked it.

Every time I drove up to the house, I wondered what we could do to make it look more attractive. We covered the ugly wood with nice vinyl, we tore off the old roof and put on a new one, we gutted the entire front yard and added a circular driveway, we painted the front door, we painted the stucco, we tiled the front steps. You name it, we did it. I just could never feel satisfied with how the house appeared on the outside. So, when we were looking for our new house, I had determined in my mind that I would be SO much happier to have a large home with curb appeal. That is what I thought would make us happy.

So, that is what we found. A 4600 square foot 7 bedroom, 4 bathroom home, with enough curb appeal to satisfy that need I felt for a pretty home. The home had been completely remodeled and was "perfect", or so I thought. We moved in and I loved the house. Well, I loved it at first. Because at first it was filling me with what I thought was the ability to make me happy.

We ended up disliking the area the home was in. So, I thought, well, "if we could just move this house someplace else, well, then I can be happy". After a few months of living in the home and trying to keep it clean, well, then I thought, "If only this house didn't have a basement, then it would be easier to clean, then I would be happy." The list could go on and on and on of what I thought needed to change about the house and where we lived in order to be happy.

Things didn't go well with my husband's new job. The entire reason we were buying the new house in the first place was because of his job transfer. He was miserable at work. We were miserable at home. Nothing seemed right. And it wasn't. Why??? Because we were trying to make ourselves believe that our happiness was tied to our "things". New jobs, new homes, new cars. But, those things weren't making us happy. If your "things" aren't bringing you happiness, how do you find a way to be happy?

I have finally come to a point where I understand that happiness is a choice. A real, honest-to-goodness, choice. Maybe it is getting older and more mature that brought me to this realization, or maybe it is from everything that I have been through the past 3 years that has brought me to this place. I truly believe that I can be happy living in any house, driving any car, wearing any clothes: IF I CHOOSE TO BE! That is the key. No matter what life throws my way, I can still be happy. I don't need material possessions to fill me with happiness, because that is not what true happiness is. I can have a crappy day, and I can still choose to be happy. I can loose most of my material possessions, and I can still choose to be happy. Isn't that great? It certainly makes life so much easier when you start each and everyday choosing how you are going to face it :)

"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want." ~Margaret Young

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." ~Abraham Lincoln

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." ~Frederick Keonig

Just Wondering.

2011-02-20T18:51:00.000-08:00

Can a brain explode from thinking too long or too hard? Because I think mine is about ready to!

Midterms are this week. It has taken me most of the day just to finish filling out the information on all of the study guides. This does not include the actually studying part of the study guides. I still need to sit down and see if I can get all of the information on the study guides to actually stick inside this brain of mine. Oh, and it also doesn't include the rest of the homework that is due this week.

On the bright side. . .midterms means the semester is HALF OVER! Woot, woot! Yay for that!

Ain't That The Truth?

2011-02-19T13:06:00.000-08:00

When I saw this today, it struck me hard. How true is that? The great thing about focus is that it can be for the good or the bad.

I feel like I have been stuck in a rut, and my entire focus is on how stressed out I am with school and life. The more I focus on it, the more stressed I seem to get. So, I have decided that maybe I should shift my focus from how stressed I am with life, to how grateful I am that I am almost done with my degree.

I have midterms this week, do you know what that means??? That means that I am HALFWAY through this semester!!! That means that I only have ONE and a HALF semesters left until I graduate!!! :) YAY!

What I do after that remains to be seen, but regardless of whether or not there is a job waiting out there for me, I will still have my bachelors degree. No one can take that away from me! :)

I think that I am going to shift my focus from my stress, and instead focus on my diploma that is waiting for me in December.

I.N.A.V.

2011-02-13T17:05:00.000-08:00

INAV. I just made up my own acronym. What does it stand for?

I NEED A VACATION!

Week after week of the same old thing makes me feel like I am going crazy! I feel more and more like I can relate to this:

Want to know what a day in my life is like? Well, here is a sampling. . .

Monday- Homework day. This day usually entails about 12 solid hours of homework.

Tuesday- 7am-2pm college classes. 2pm-4pm preparations for weekly youth activity at my church. 4pm-5pm dinner preparations. 6pm Presidency meeting. 7pm-9pm youth activity. 9pm-11pm homework. Yes, Tuesdays are CRAZY!

Wednesday- 7am-2pm practicum. 3pm-6pm homework. 6pm-7pm dinner. After dinner- homework (as needed) and catch up on the housework a little bit.

Thursday- 7am-2pm college classes. 2pm-bed: run the kids where they need to be, start to clean up the mess in the house from the week of craziness. Laundry is usually pretty out of control at this point.

Friday- Clean house and do laundry all day! It takes me ALL day to get caught back up! Then I pretty much crash and burn after a week of insanity.

Saturday- Run errands and get ready for the new week.

Sunday- Church meetings. Homework. Prepare to start the week all over again.

This has pretty much been my life the past year and a half. Last week I told someone that I feel like my life is like the movie "Groundhog Day", except instead of living the same day over and over, I am living the same week over and over and over and over. . . I am getting burned out. I need a break. I guess that I will have one as soon as Summer gets here.

Too bad I won't have any money to go and do something fun! Oh well, at least having a break from the monotony of school will be nice.

Thanks for Your Emails.

2011-01-23T19:29:00.000-08:00

My dad forwarded this email to me. Thought I would share. A germ-a-phobe, slighlty OCD person like myself can relate OH SO WELL to this :)

Thanks for your e-mails

As we approach the end of another year, I want to thank you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed..hmmmm

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I MUST ALSO SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy gas without taking somone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Fanta since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face.. disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda agents in disguise.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy cookies from Neiman-Marcus since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my ass.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up a Quarter dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I no longer drive my car because buying gas from some companies supports Al Qaeda, and buying gas from all the others supports South American dictators.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician . . ..
Oh, by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

PS: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

Life.

2011-01-21T07:18:00.000-08:00

I really should be given "The Worlds Worst Blogger" award. I have been so bad at updating. I think that there have been so many things going on in my life that I have just felt overwhelmed.

In November, I went into the doctor for my annual exam. During the exam he told me that I had, "some lumps growing in my uterus". I was promptly sent to a lab to have an ultrasound done. After the ultrasound, my doctor told me that I had one large growth and several small growths in my uterus. I was then referred to another doctor.

After meeting with the other doctor, he told me that I had one growth that was the size of my uterus, and then others that quarter sized and pea sized. Seriously not words that anyone likes to hear. The "what if's" can drive you crazy.

They determined that I would need to have surgery to have my uterus removed, and that they would need to biopsy the results. Tumors, biopsies. Again, not words that I ever wanted to have to describe anything going on in my body.

During all of these doctors appointments, blood work ups, exams, ultrasounds, etc. I was in school. Six classes, 18 credits, plus practicum. We were at the end of the semester. Case studies, observations, research papers, lesson plans, and reading assignments were filling my time, not to mention the fact that finals were just around the corner.

With the craziness of school, it gave me something other than the tumors to focus on. However, there were time late at night, or when I would first wake up in the morning, the "what if's" would creep in. Some days they would leave as quickly as they came in. Other days the "what if's" would linger just a little bit longer.

Every now and then I would wonder what I would do if I actually heard the "C" word mentioned after the biopsy. Would I break down? Would I be strong? Would I be able to handle cancer like so many others who I know and love who have had to deal with it? How would it change my life? Would I be here to see my kids graduate from high school? Would I get to see them get married? Would I this? Would I that? Sometimes not knowing was worse than actually knowing.

My surgery was scheduled for 4 days after I finished finals week and two days before Christmas. Not the best timing, but after 2 months of doctors and tests, I was ready for some answers.

The day of my surgery came and I was ready to get it behind me. I am not going to lie, I was nervous, but I wanted answers. I needed to know what the next step was.

The surgery went well. I lost a little bit more blood than they would have liked, which meant I couldn't get out of bed as soon as most people could after surgery. The doctor informed me that I would be a little more tired than normal as my body worked to replenish the excess blood loss.

I was sent home the night before Christmas Eve. I spent the holidays recovering from surgery, yet still waiting for biopsy results. Two weeks went by and I finally got my results. I did not have cancer. I was relieved. It was really like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I could breath easily again. . .then I thought about other people who don't get the same results as I did. Others who had to deal with hearing they do have cancer. Others who have their entire lives changed upon hearing the "C" word.

This whole process taught me to laugh a little bit more, focus on the positive, be thankful for what you have, and just enjoy life to the fullest. You just NEVER know what life will throw at you: good, bad, and ugly. If you don't enjoy the process of it all, you will never have to opportunity to live life to its fullest. Life is a special gift. Live it well.

Life

LIFE, believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day.
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall ?

Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily,
Enjoy them as they fly !

What though Death at times steps in
And calls our Best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway ?
Yet hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair !

-Charlotte Bronte

GIVEAWAY!

2011-01-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

I don't normally promote stuff from my Paisley Passions blog here on my personal blog. . .but, I just wanted to spread the word about a giveaway I am hosting over there.

It is for a FREE 3 month subscription to E-Mealz.com I have used E-Mealz the past month and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!! It will save you time and money! Who doesn't like to save both of those??? You have nothing to lose, so go on over and enter!!!

E-MEALZ Giveaway @ Paisley Passions

You'll be glad you did! :)

Not Gonna Lie.

2011-01-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

I am not going to lie, 2010 was not the greatest. It was a year of hospitals, surgeries, traumatic brain injury, biopsies, financial hardships, hospital bills and more hospital bills, stress, highs and lows, ups and downs.

When we survived the trials of 2009, I thought for sure that 2010 just had to be better. . .it really wasn't. However, that being said, it was the year that we were able to build our "forever" home, and for that I will be forever grateful.

"Forever" Home

Why do we call it our "Forever" Home? Well, because this is it. We are done feeling transient. We have moved more than anyone should ever have to move in a lifetime. This home will be our home base from now until we are no longer alive. The sacrifices we made to get this home and the humbling circumstances that occurred in order to build it, have helped us realize that no matter what life throws at us, this will always be home.

My kids will finish growing up with this as their home. My grandkids will visit me here. Memories will be made here, and soon the trials and tribulations of 2009-2010 will all be a distant memory. In hindsight, perhaps we will be able to see how 2009-2010 helped us to become better, stronger, more humble people. Maybe, just maybe, at some point we will even be grateful for the things we have endured. Trials help to soften us, make our edges smooth, and help us realize what is truly important.

Here is looking forward to a great 2011. Full of humility, thankfulness, love, and happiness!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The True Meaning of Chrismas

2010-12-18T22:37:00.000-08:00

I needed this. A little perspective is always good.

Nightmare Before Christmas - Fall Out Boy Style

2010-12-10T18:39:00.000-08:00

It is that time of year again. . .time to share the Fall Out Boy version of Jack Skellington's What's This? For me, Christmas isn't complete without it!

ENJOY!

Black Friday

2010-11-26T08:11:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am one of THOSE people. I *heart* Black Friday. Really, I do. I don't even have to buy anything to love it. People watching is one of my favorite parts of this crazy day. Oh, the things I have seen when I have been out and about in the middle of the night searching for the best deals out there for the Christmas season. Memories have certainly been made on Black Friday.

One of my all time favorite memories was made at Target early one Black Friday morning. People were going crazy for some televisions that were on their Early Bird Specials. They had run out of the televisions, but luckily had more in the back. The poor naive employee had NO IDEA of the chaos that he would cause as he wheeled out the pallet of televisions. Seriously, it was like a mob scene. He walked out with the pallet of televisions and like piranha on a piece of flesh, women were grabbing those televisions as though there were no more left in the entire world. I just sat and watched. I had no desire for a television, but the scene playing out in front of me was just too good to not watch. Well, as the pallet got smaller and smaller, there were only about 3 televisions left on it and two women grabbed the same box. One pulled one way, one pulled the other. The larger of the two women ended up with the box in her arms, the smaller lady was still clawing at the box. The larger woman sat the box down on the ground, sat on top of it, and crossed her arms with a stubborn stare. HAHA! HILARIOUS! She was two years old again :)

See, great memories. Black Friday, I am sorry that I missing out on you today. I will be back next year, that is for sure. Maybe I should bring a video camera long, just to document the fine times :)

Happy Black Friday everyone!!!

Life As We Know It.

2010-11-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

A friend and I went to see the movie: Life As We Know It. I loved the movie. It was corny and predictable, yet, heartwarming and fun. If you haven't seen it, it is probably worth seeing.

Anyway, during the movie, I became ~~infatuated~~ OBSESSED with their house. Honestly, if there were such a thing as a perfect home for me, this would be it! I LOVE it!

After the movie, I came home and did some digging to find pics of the house to share. I also discovered that the home is for sale, and if I had a mere $1.5 million dollars laying around, that the home could be mine. Oh, man! If only I could win the lottery! Haha! Or, if anyone would like to donate to my cause of buying the perfect home, I would gladly accept donations. Ha! :)

Here are some pics:

Front of House

Family Room

Front Room


Breakfast Nook

Master Bath

The Real Kitchen

Kitchen Used in the Movie

Screened Porch


Back of House

I wish I could pack my bags and move in TODAY! If only! Oh well, at least I can take some of the ideas used to decorate this perfect house and implement them in decorating my own home. Then I can pretend that I have a house as perfect as this one ;)

Neglected.

2010-11-11T15:36:00.000-08:00

My blog is neglected. Sometimes life just has a way of getting in the way of me writing down what is going on. Kinda funny how that works. Other times I feel like I don't have anything important, funny, or interesting to say, so I don't write. Then I remember, hey, this is MY blog, and I can write boring stuff if I want to! :)

We moved our oldest son up north a couple of weeks ago. He is getting settled and trying to find his place in the world. He has a new job, and a new apartment. I know he feels lost right now. Such an awkward phase of life. The first couple of years after high school left me feeling the same way. Wondering who I was, and what I really wanted out of life. He knows what he should be doing. He knows where he should be right now. Unfortunately, fear and doubt keep him from doing what he knows a boy his age and his religion should be doing at this point in his life.

All we can do is hope that he is happy no matter what he decides to do in the future. He isn't a bad kid. In fact he is a pretty awesome kid. He is a hard working and dependable kid. He is well liked by his coworkers and his friends. He is just stuck in that no man's land between being a boy and a grown man. As I said, I remember that phase of life all too well.

I have decided that the hardest part of being a parent is watching your kids make some of the same stupid mistakes you made, and no matter how much you warn them, or how much you tell them you've been there, they STILL have to make the same stupid mistakes and learn from them. It would be so much easier if they would just listen and learn from the mistakes their parents made. Wouldn't it?

I wish my son would see the importance of a good education. I don't want him to be like me; trying to juggle a family and college classes at the age of 40-something. It isn't easy. I would give anything if I had finished up my degree back before we started a family. It would have put us in a much different situation than we are currently in. A lot of things would have been easier the past 2 years if both my husband and I had gone to college and graduated. Oh, man, how I wish my oldest son could see that! Maybe he will. Maybe, just maybe, he won't have to learn the hard way.

Even if he does learn the hard way, I guess the fact that he is learning and growing is the positive outlook on it. At least he is a functioning and contributing member of society. At least he has a family who loves him and supports him. At least he is hardworking and reliable.

I just wish he could see how much easier life would be if he would actually take the path that he knows he should be on, and that those choices would bring him more happiness than any paycheck he works so hard for right now.

Dear Laundry.

2010-10-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Laundry,

Honestly, why do you hate me so? How do you multiply yourself day after day? Why is it that you are NEVER, and I mean NEVER complete?

I have done all I can to keep you caught up. I have given you your own special room (AKA The Laundry Room). I have organized you, labeled you, and cleaned you.

I have given you baskets of every shape and color. Some with liners. Some without. Some large. Some small. Some wicker. Some plastic.

I have bought the largest machines possible to wash you and dry you. No matter what I do, you are always the thorn in my side.

You leave me no choice. Laundry today, or naked tomorrow. Some days, I am not sure which would be the lesser of two evils.

Why does it have to be this way? Can't we just get along?

Sincerely,
Me

Do I REALLY Want To Do This???

2010-10-12T14:45:00.000-07:00

Marathon Mania. That is what I call it. Every year we go and watch the local marathon from the 25.2 mile marker. Every year I say, "Next year, I am going to run it". Another year goes by, and I say it again.

I am seriously thinking that NEXT year, 2011, is the year. Am I crazy??? Sometimes I think I may be. Especially after I look at the pictures I took! Oh well. Crazy or not, if my body will hold up through all the training, I just might be one of these crazy people out there next year. Or not! ;)

The Barefoot Runner

LOVED that these two were running together :) I like to call it, The Giant and The Midget. HAHA!

This is what delirium looks like.

PAIN!

I SO wish that my son's chair hadn't been in the way of this one! His cup hides the splatters in the gutter ;)

Wonder if this guy made it through BOTH marathons? 2 in 2 days is pretty amazing!

Another Monday.

2010-10-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

Mondays. I wish I could say I liked them. Right now, I just dread them. Why??? Well, Mondays are my homework days. It is just how it works out with my school schedule. Monday is the day that I have open in my schedule to do all the work for the upcoming week of my six classes and practicum. I kind of dread the EIGHT hours (sometimes longer) stretch of sitting at my desk and doing assignment after assignment.

I guess there is a positive side to it though. It means that during the week I only have an hour here or there that needs to be spent doing homework. The only homework I have to do other than on Monday is if I need to study for a test, or to do an assignment that was sprung on me last minute. When I think about it that way, I guess I should be glad for my Homework Marathon Mondays. It helps not being so stressed out all week.

Too bad a marathon day of doing laundry wouldn't mean that I was caught up on laundry all week!!! ;)

I really have to go. I have papers to write. Lesson plans to create. Reading to do. Oh, and laundry to be done.

5 Random Questions

2010-10-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

1. Did you have a pen pal when you were little (or now)? Where were/are they from?
Haha. Actually I DO have a pen pal right now. I have an elementary school student that I have to write to by email once a week. It is for one of my college classes. The elementary students are learning how to use email etiquette and so we were assigned to be their pen pals.

2. If you could do a different job for one day, what would it be?
Hmmm. You know what, to be honest, I just want to be a Stay at Home Mom, again. I really miss the days of being caught up on my housework and laundry. I get so stressed out when my house is an out of control mess. It has a direct correlation to me feeling like my life is out of control and my higher stress levels. I am in school full time, so technically I don't work, but is sure feels like I have a full-time job!

3. Do you remember your biggest fear from when you were little?
I always had a fear of someone being outside watching me through the windows when I was little. I never wanted the curtains or the blinds to be open when it was dark outside for fear that someone was out there looking in.

4. What do you think is a waste of time? Why?
Definitely Facebook. So why is it I get on there? Not sure. I certainly don't have time to be bored, so it isn't out of boredom!

Sometimes I feel like cleaning my house is a waste of time. Especially when I can't keep up on it (which feels like just about everyday right now!). It just makes me so upset to finally get caught up on it and then have it be messed up by the end of the day. UGH! Wish my kids could understand this.

5. What is the oldest item you have in your closet?
Um, that's easy. EVERYTHING!!! I haven't bought anything new in ages. I really need to go shopping, but I keep telling myself that I don't want to buy new stuff until I lose 15 lbs. Which at the rate I am going will be never!

Is It Too Much to Ask???

2010-09-28T01:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Denim Pant Makers,

I have been on the hunt for a pair of denim pants. You would not think that this was a difficult thing to do; however, it is turning out to be quite a feat.

You see, I am in desperate need of some new casual pants. I have not replaced my 3 current pairs of denim pants since 2007. Why do you ask? Well, because it is like asking for a miracle to be able to find any that fit.

Is it too much to ask that I find a pair of pants that are not made for a teeny-bopper or a grandma? Why oh why is there nothing in-between?

Is it too much to ask that I find a pair of pants that are not floods? Yes, I have long legs. I am proud to have them, but just because my length is a 34/36 does not mean that my waist is a 44, or on the flip side, an 18.

Is it too much to ask to find a pair of pants that are not so short-waisted that my butt crack hangs out the top and my muffin-top hangs over the sides?

Is it too much to ask that the pants that you actually do design that are high-waisted don't have the ugly-small-high-granny pockets? As I previously stated, I don't like my butt crack hanging out of the top of my pants, that is true; however, just because I don't want my butt crack hanging out of the top does not mean that I want the pockets so high on my pants that it looks like my butt is underneath my shoulder blades.

Oh, dear Pant Makers. Why must you torture me so? All I want is a pair of pants that fit me, yes, me. Not my teenage daughter, not my mother, just little 'ol me. Oh, and while you are at it, I would prefer not to pay $125+ dollars for said pants. Is this really too much to ask?

Sincerely,
Me

Food for Thought.

2010-09-27T06:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life gets a little bit crazy and we forget to remember the simple things.

Skunks, Snakes, and Potty Words.

2010-09-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

My youngest son went with me on my run tonight. I am thinking I won't take him with me anymore. He seems to bring me bad luck. The last time he ran with me. . .we ran into a skunk. Tonight, it was a snake!!! SHEESH!!!

We were about 1 1/2 miles into our run, it was about 9pm, and it was very dark outside. He was wearing one of those headband headlight thing-a-ma-bobs. All of a sudden right underneath me in the middle of the beam of light was a snake!!! I HATE snakes! They creep me out! So, I quickly stepped to the side, said a "potty word", and kept running. I just really wasn't expecting for a snake to be in the middle of the road while I was running. It freaked me out, and I am surprised I handled it as well as I did!!!

The rest of the entire run my son (who is only 10) kept saying, "Mom, why did you say that word? Hmmmm? It wasn't like it was that big of a deal. It was just a snake." After apologizing for the ump-teenth time, I finally said, "Can you just forget about my potty mouth and keep running please???" Haha. I think I traumatized the poor little fella! I guess he just isn't used to his mom using "potty words". It just kind of slipped out! I really didn't mean for it to. The snake just took me by surprise and out popped the word!

Wonder what I am going to do next time he uses a potty word? When I scold him for his use of the word, I am certain he will remind me about my use of a potty word tonight. Mother of the year award is coming my way, I am sure of that. NOT!

Happy #17 to My Daughter!

2010-09-20T07:23:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been SEVENTEEN years!!! Wow!

I hope you have a fantastic and wonderful seventeenth birthday!

I love you!

Do YOU Use Overstock.com???

2010-09-17T11:55:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to pass the word along on my blog here about a fantastic promotion going on over at my Paisley Passions blog. If you use Overstock.com or think you ever would, then you need to pop on over to my craft blog and check it out!

Click here to go to Paisley Passions Blog :)

Just Stuff.

2010-09-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I haven't posted Homecoming pics yet. I need to get around to doing that soon! I got back late last night from my girls weekend at the Scrapbook Expo. It is always a great weekend of staying up too late, eating WAY too much, laughing, talking, shopping, and scrapbooking with my friends. I look forward to it every Fall and Spring. So, glad I have a hubby who doesn't mind me sneaking away for one weekend every six months to hang out with my friends!

Now I am back to reality and know that school is waiting for me. I have a ton of homework. Lesson plans that need to be written, chapters that need to be read, papers that need to be written, and a presentation that needs to be prepared. I am going to have a LONG day of playing "catch-up" tomorrow. It was still worth it to spend the weekend having some fun :)

It was great to talk with my friend Joette this weekend. She helped breathe new life into my desire to finish up in the Elementary Ed program. I have been feeling very frustrated with some of my classes. It honestly seems as though you never hear anything good about the public school system. We are constantly told we won't get paid much, we have no freedom with our lessons anymore, the school system is broken, the kids are worse than they were in years past, we aren't going to be able to find jobs and if we do luck out and find a job, well, good luck keeping it. It is frustrating and well, really quite depressing! I am just so glad to have spent the weekend with Joette, who has been involved with the education system for about 10 years now, both public and private systems. She told me about all the great experiences she has had and all the other opportunities that are out there for someone with a degree in Education. It was a breath of fresh air and probably just what I needed to help push me through a little bit longer. So, THANKS JOETTE!

This is the first week that we are back on our normal schedules. The kids in school, me in school, and Bryan back to work after his knee surgery. He is still on crutches, but, was able to drive himself back up to work tonight. Our lives have been a bit topsy-turvey for several months now. It will be good to get back on a schedule and just push forward until whatever it is that life can throw at us next! :)

One thing is for certain, our lives are NEVER boring! :)

Neglected.

2010-09-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

My poor blog has been neglected as of late. Sorry about that. There really are quite a few reasons why actually.

*I am back in school full time. It always puts my schedule into a bit a whirlwind the first few weeks when I am trying to get settled back into the swing of classes, practicum, and homework. *My hubby had knee surgery. It has been hard for him being so immobile. I know that he is frustrated by the things he can't do on his own. He will be on crutches for a month and then physical therapy and stuff after that. *Last, my CRAFT BLOG. It has taken off and grown by leaps and bounds lately. Because of that, when I do have spare time, I seem to be over there taking care of things and not over here writing about what's on my mind.

Hopefully I will be back and posting normally when life gets a little less crazy! I have some fun Homecoming pics to post of my daughter. She went to the Homecoming dance last night and seemed to have a great time :) I also have a trip to the Scrapbook Expo coming up next weekend that is sure to mean some fun pics are coming.

Enough for now. Hope to be back later tonight or in the morning with the Homecoming pictures!

Last Weekend of Freedom.

2010-08-20T15:16:00.000-07:00

*SIGH*

I don't mean to sound like a party pooper, but I am SO NOT ready to start back to school next week. I keep telling myself that the sooner I start, the sooner I can be DONE. I know this. Somehow it just isn't helping.

I am not looking forward to a messy house, being behind on the laundry, feeling like I am stretched to my limits with all the places I need to be and all the things I need to do. Being in school at my age with all of the other responsibilities I have isn't easy. I am not going to lie and say that it is. However, when I get that diploma in my hand. . .well, then it will be OH SO WORTH IT :)

I know that once I am back into the swing of things that being back in school won't be that bad. It is just getting settled back into the routine of school that always makes me a little bit anxious. After a week or two, all will be well I am sure.

On a side note, the binders and notebooks I embellished for school make me smile. I had fun making them last night. I am sure I will share their cuteness on my CRAFT BLOG soon :)

Okay, I am off to enjoy my last few days of freedom. Lots to do. Lots to organize, so I can start school next week feeling like all is well on the home front.

It's The Dad Life.

2010-08-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

This was so hilarious that I just had to share! For anyone who is a dad, has a dad, or wants to be a dad, ENJOY :)

First Day of School Pics.

2010-08-16T11:14:00.000-07:00

I am lucky to get these pics at all. The kids are stinkers about it now. They used to pose and have so much fun taking first day of school pics. Now it is a quick stop by the front door and one click and done. Oh well. At least I have them :)

She thinks that she is all that and a bag of chips now that she doesn't have to take the school bus anymore :) I remember those days. . .

Where did the Summer go?

2010-08-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

Just got my kids off to their first day of school. Hardly seems possible that Summer is over. Wow. Only two weeks until I start back to school too. Not sure if I am ready. Life gets so insanely busy when school starts. Sometimes it seems like there is hardly time to breathe.

I can't believe that I have one child who has graduated, TWO in high school, and one in intermediate school this year. Even harder to handle, my baby just started his LAST year at the elementary school today. Man, I am feeling old.

I will post first day of school pics later :)

Tuesday Post It Notes

2010-08-10T21:18:00.000-07:00

My Happy List.

2010-08-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

Is it Friday already??? WOW! This week seriously flew by! I haven't even posted once since my Happy List last Friday!

Here is my Happy List this week.

Running. I have stuck to my 5K training schedule for two solid weeks with no slips ups!!! YAY! That makes me very happy. It is a small thing, but I am determined to get back into shape :)

My Craft Room. I am glad that I have had two solid days to work on my craft room so that it won't look like a tornado hit it anymore!

Photographs. I LOVE pictures. Well, I love taking them. I HATE having pictures taken of me. While I have been cleaning and organizing my craft room I have sorted through a TON of pictures. They bring back such great memories. I just love them!

My Label Maker. Just labels in general really. You see while I have been organizing my craft room, I have labeled everything and put everything in its place. There is just something so satisfying to me about having things organized and labeled. Is that weird???

What's on your Happy List this week???

My Happy List.

2010-07-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

Is it really the end of the week already? Wow! Time once again to reflect on the week and write down a few things that are making me happy this week.

This Boy. Oh this boy. I wish I could bottle up his laughter and sell it. When something makes him truly laugh, you can't help but laugh right along with him. His laughter is so contagious. Just thinking about his laugh makes my heart happy.

I took him to see Dinner with Schmucks today. I don't know what made me laugh more. . .the movie, or him laughing at the movie.

Reflecting. We have had a lot to reflect about lately. Reflecting on the past while still moving forward to the future is sometimes a good thing. It has helped me to realize that no matter how bad things seem, I can get through them. Little by little. Step by step. The future is as bright as I want to make it. No matter what is thrown my way, I can still choose to be happy.

Paint oh glorious paint! I love you! With just the swipe of a brush you can make old look new. You can change the feel of a room. You make my house a home. You make me happy. I know we just moved into our house, but I am ready to start adding a little pop of color here and there.

The Praxis. How could I not have posted this already??? Last month I had to take the Praxis test. What is the Praxis? It is a test that teachers have to take in order to be considered "highly qualified". It is part of No Child Left Behind. I took the test. Waited the four LONG weeks for my scores and found out I PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS! I am not thankful or happy about the Praxis, but I sure am happy I passed!

What is making YOU happy this week???
You can link up your own happy list here:

Dear Sir.

2010-07-26T22:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Sir,

I am glad that you decided to take your wife/girlfriend/date to the movies. I do realize that the movie theater was semi-full. However, I feel the need to tell you that for whatever reason in this world we have decided that it is common courtesy to leave one chair between yourself and a stranger.

Yes, I do realize that there are times when the theater is so packed that you cannot avoid the situation and you must sit right next to a stranger. When this is not the case, please don't plop down next to a stranger and then use the arm rest that his/her drink is sitting in as though you own it. Did your mother never teach you any manners?

You see dear sir, I only get to go see movies on a rare occasion because my hubby does not like to go. So, when I do go to a movie it is a real treat. I kind of like my personal space when it is possible. If you by chance read this letter, please be aware of this and don't do it again. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Me

My Happy List

2010-07-24T07:09:00.000-07:00

It is fun to join in on the Happy List each week. It helps me to focus on things that are making me smile or bringing me some happiness each week. Sometimes the things on my list are simple things that normally I wouldn't think about. Sometimes they are deeper and more complex. Either way, it is great to ponder the week and see what I come up with :)

On my happy list this week:

My Bucket List. I finally started one. I have always had a, "Things to do Before I Die" list in my head. Now I have actually written it down. It may change over the years. I may add to it or take away from it as life goes on, but for now I am pretty happy with it.

Burts Bees Peppermint Lip Balm. I don't know how I would live without it. It is simply the best lip balm there is.

My Scholarship!!! I was awarded a scholarship that pays for my full tuition and fees from now until I graduate! It is also a scholarship that actually follows you to other schools if something happens and you have to transfer. I know I won't be transferring schools, but it is a pretty great perk to have! I never thought I had a chance for the scholarship, I was SUPER excited when I got the letter in the mail. No more relying on student loans to pay for the rest of my degree :)

That's my list this week. What is making you happy???

You can link up your own Happy List HERE :)

Things I LOVE Thursday.

2010-07-22T07:32:00.000-07:00

(I am swiping this post from my craft blog PAISLEY PASSIONS and posting it here today. Just because it made me happy to post it once, so it should make me twice as happy if I post it twice, right?) ;)

Let's see. What am I loving this week??? (I always feel I need to add a disclaimer here that says, yes, my family, home, food on the table, all that good stuff is ALWAYS on my list. Even if I don't list them).

I am still LOVING that the Tour de France is on. It will be over on Sunday. *SIGH* Now I don't know what I will do with my LONG HOT Summer afternoons when I don't have the Tour to watch :)

I am loving that my Hubby didn't get hurt when he hit the deer with his car on his way out of town on Monday. The car isn't so lucky. At least my hubby was.

I am loving that we planted three palm trees in our backyard. We still need grass, a fence, and other stuff, but at least we got started!

I am loving that I got started on my Craft Room Organization project. I will love it even MORE when it is done :) I will share pics of the finished project. I promise!

What are you loving this week???

I BLOG HOP HERE.
I PARTY HERE.

Fighting Back :)

2010-07-20T07:35:00.000-07:00

Sorry for such a downer of a post yesterday. It was just one of those days where it seems that nothing is going right. It has felt like we have been picking ourselves up, dusting ourselves off, just to get knocked back down over and over again. The past few months have been bad, but honestly, the past 24 months haven't been great.

Yesterday I didn't feel like dusting myself off. I felt like I was done fighting. After some reflection and thought (and a few tears), I realized that no matter how bad things seem, I still have a lot going right. So I am dusting myself off, strapping on my boxing gloves and moving forward. I won't give up without a fight.

The car can be fixed. My hubby is safe. My son is healing well from his brain injury. My daughter didn't get hurt in her accident. My dad is doing well. Our financial problems will work themselves out in time. My middle son can go back to the doctor for more tests if things don't improve. My husband has great doctors that will biopsy his growth and then tell us what needs to be done. When I look at my problems in that way instead of how I did yesterday, it doesn't seem so bad. It all seems manageable.

A little perspective is a good thing.

I Surrender.

2010-07-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

I give up. I surrender. Seriously. Enough is enough.

What a Summer this has been. A Summer I would rather put behind me. I don't mean to be a Donna-Downer today for this post, but honestly, I need to vent.

Since May here are the things that have happened:

1. My fourth child had to be flown by Life Flight to Primary Children's Hospital and have a week long stay there with a Traumatic Brain Injury.

2. My third child is having blood-pressure issues that don't seem to be getting any better.

3. My daughter backed my hubby's car into a truck.

4. My father was rear-ended by a drunk driver and his truck was a complete loss. He had a concussion and whiplash.

5. MAJOR financial struggles because of a home we cannot seem to unload, hospital bills, car issues, all that fun stuff. I won't give more details than that, but it has not been a good few weeks. Hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel soon for this one.

6. My hubby being sent to a cardiologist last week for chest pains.

7. My hubby having a growth on his knee that needs to be biopsied. (An appointment for that in the next week or two)

8. This morning my husband was on his way to work and hit a deer. Major damage to the car. When my phone rang at 5:45 am this morning, I knew it couldn't be good news. He is fine though, thank goodness!

I have always believed that the struggles we go through in life are to help teach us something. I am trying hard to learn whatever it is that I need to learn. I am just hoping I can learn whatever it is I need to before anything else happens. Please.

Waving the white flag here. I surrender. Things have to get better. Right?

Now to put a smile :) on my face and pretend that everything is okay. Because that's what I do, so that I can make it through another day :)

BLOG HOPS LIBRARY. Check them out.

My Happy List.

2010-07-18T08:46:00.000-07:00

What's on my happy list this week???

Well of course it would be this:

My hubby and my middle son and I, all look forward to watching the Tour de France every July. For those of you who wonder if I watch it even when Lance isn't in it, the answer is a resounding YES! :) I love the tour with or without him. (Even though it is a bit better WITH him!).

Migraine medicine is something I am grateful for this week. When it is "that time of the month" for me (sorry if this is TMI, but it is my blog, haha!) I get HORRIBLE migraines. I am actually suffering from one right now and it is a doosey! So, I am HAPPY for medicine that helps with the pain.

I am also VERY grateful for central air conditioning this week. We have had several days that have been 115 degrees this week. It is HOT. Thank goodness my house is cool.

Those are my top three this week. Of course I am always grateful for my hubby, kids, home, and all of that good stuff ;)

Wanna make a happy list? Join in here:

Lance.

2010-07-16T22:38:00.000-07:00

Waterfall?

2010-07-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

My youngest son. He is 10. He is so funny sometimes. I wonder where he comes up with the things he says. I would love to get into that brain of his and see just exactly how it works.

Our conversation a few minutes ago:

Him- "Mom, man, I am sweaty. I have decided to start exercising."
Me- "Really? Wow. Sounds like fun."
Him- "Did you see me lifting weights for like 30 minutes and then running for like 15?"
Me- (smiling to myself because it was more like 5 min total) "Yes, I did. Good job."
Him- (lifting up his shirt and sticking his fingers under his armpits, yes, his armpits) "Sheesh! It is like a freakin' waterfall under there!"

A waterfall? Wow! He must be the sweatiest 10 year old ever! Haha! I don't know where he comes up with this stuff. I never know what he will say next. At least he keeps me laughing.

I am BLOG HOPPING HERE today :)

What The???

2010-07-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

I often wonder how some people make their way through this world. You really have to question it at times.

This was in an actual newspaper in San Fransisco:

What? Seriously? Dude, how do you survive in this world on a daily basis? Just wondering.

Time For Chores?

2010-07-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

This morning after breakfast I informed my kids that it was time to go and do their chores. So, off they went. Or did they??? Around 11-ish, I noticed how quiet my house was. My house is RARELY quiet.

So, I decided that the kids certainly must be busily organizing their bedrooms and so that is why the house was so quiet. Right? Wrong.

I entered the first bedroom to check on my hard working youngest child, and this is what I found. . .

Hmmmm, interesting. I made my way upstairs to find my middle son doing this. . .

I guess chores will have to be done later. I do love Summer, but I do miss being on a schedule with school. For now they can sleep. I guess Summer will be over soon enough.

Old Church Pew.

2010-07-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

Ever since I saw this:

I have been wanting one of these:

I don't know when I will find it. I don't know where I will find it. But, someday I will find it :) The only church pew I found that was all wood was in Texas. Hmmm, I somehow don't think my hubby is going to want to drive all the way to Austin to pick up an old church pew that only costs $150.

Someday. Someday. Someday.

Proud New Owner?

2010-07-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

What prey-tell am I the new owner of???? Well, I am the owner of a lovely handmade wooden toolbox. However, this particular toolbox has a story behind it.

Over the weekend the hubby and I decided to clean out the garage. Our new home doesn't have a basement and so we no longer have a storage room. Where has all of our "storage" stuff (AKA junk) been stashed? Well, in the garage of course! We have a three car garage that we can barely squeeze one car in to. So, we felt the need to declutter.

Declutter we did! We made piles of stuff to take to D.I. (a thrift store). Piles of stuff for the garbage. Piles of stuff to store. Well, you get the idea. We were on a roll. The back of my Honda Pilot was FILLED to the BRIM with our items for donations. Ahhhhhhh. Such a nice feeling. We get rid of stuff and others can benefit from it as well.

Yesterday morning I drove my Pilot over to the local D.I. and they cleared out my boxes of stuff. Smiling contently, I was on my way home feeling footloose and clutter free!

Today I took my son to lunch. The place we decided to eat at was right across the street from D.I. I decided to pop on in and see what treasures I could find. I have been on the look out for a short square coffee table that I can use to make into an ottoman for my family room. I figured since we were right there, I may as well just pop on in and see if one had been donated. Nope. No such luck today.

On our way out, all of a sudden my son (who is 10) was grasping my side and quietly sobbing into my shirt. I was trying to figure out what on earth just happened. I tried to ask him what was wrong. Did he get hurt? What was the deal? Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw it. What? Well, sitting on the shelf of the store was his wooden toolbox. Yep. The very one that was in my stuff that I donated yesterday.

What are the chances? Not very likely I would have to assume. If I had known that it meant so much to him, I never would have gotten rid of the thing. Anywho, so being the ~~kind, loving, patient,~~ crazy mother that I am, I scooped it up and went and stood in line.

The whole time I was thinking, "Who in their right mind goes into the thrift store and PAYS to buy something back that they just donated the day before?". Me. I do.

At least my son is happy.

I BLOG HOP HERE :)

It's HOT!

2010-07-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

Summer is finally here. The temperature outside proves that! Actually, to be honest Summer is flying by WAY too fast! I am not sure I am ready for July to be here. That means it is only about 6 weeks before I am back into school again. ACK! I can't think about it because I am enjoying my freedom from school WAY TOO MUCH!

Not a whole lot going on. We had a great Girls Night Out at our "Twi-fest" earlier this week. I will post pics from that night in the next day or two. I think a great time was had by all. The movie is great and I want to go and see it again when things slow down at the theater.

We mailed out the invites for my parents annual luau yesterday. Wanna see what they look like? Well, then I guess you better CLICK HERE :)

Other than that, not much else besides the HOT HOT sun in this beautiful desert that I live in.

Different Priorities.

2010-06-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

Marriage. It can be great. It can be frustrating. Sometimes you give more than you take. Sometimes you take more than you give. It is an interesting game.

I think for the most part, my husband and I have done pretty good in balancing out the give and take. I know that there are times when he shakes his head and wonders why I've done something. I have done the same to him.

Home decor is one of those places where we differ. It is a high priority for me. Making my house a home is a big deal to me. It doesn't feel like home unless everything is just "so". I don't buy or put things in my home unless it is something that has some kind of meaning. My house has a lot of photos, quotes, old furniture, new furniture. Things I have made. Things my kids have made. My home speaks of where we have been and where we are going. A lot of thought goes into how I put things in my home and where I put them. I pour over the colors I choose for each room. Each thing I hang on the wall reminds me of someone or something. I know. I am strange. It is just how I am. I don't decorate my home for others. I decorate my home for my family.

Where am I going with this post? Well, I have felt the need to redo my daughter's room top to bottom. Normally this wouldn't be a problem. The problem is that we just moved into our brand new home in March. My hubby sees no reason to redo her room. He thinks it is fine, "just the way it is". I feel SO different! Logically if I sit and think about it I know that the financial things (job changes, moves, a home up north that we can't seem to unload, etc) we have faced over the past 15 months have taken a toll on us. I know that timing may be bad to redo a room that doesn't really need it. So, why do I feel the need???

My daughter is almost 17. Realistically she won't be home much longer. I feel like the time for me to go in and make her room "special" and one-of-a-kind is slipping away. If I wait much longer it won't mean anything to her. If I wait until she moves out and change her room, it will no longer be her room. Does that make sense? Honestly, I have visions of how I want her room to be. Of the memories she will make in it while she is still living here, and then I have visions of sitting upstairs with my granddaughter in that SAME room and telling her, "This is your mom's old room. She slept right here in this very bed that you are sleeping in tonight. She used to laugh here. She used to sit out on this same balcony and write her poems. She made memories here. How you see this room right now is how it was for your own mother."

Nostalgic? Perhaps. I can't help it. That is just how I am.

Got Gas? Know How?

2010-06-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

Love my daughter. She is smart. Intelligent. Pretty. I could go on and on. Sometimes though she makes me stop and say, WHAT? Yesterday she informed me that she needed to take my car to piano lessons because the Jeep was out of gas and, are you ready for this, because I sure wasn't. . .SHE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO PUT GAS IN THE CAR. (Eyes bulging out here). She has had her drivers license for 9 months and a learners permit for almost a year prior to that. How did that happen?

So, to remedy the problem, I immediately took her to the gas station and showed her how to start the pump and fill the car with gas. I decided that she would be fine while the gas pumped and I would go fill up my drink while she finished up. Then, I changed my mind. SO GLAD I DID!!!

Do you know the gas scene from Zoolander?

It almost happened at Maverick yesterday. My smart, intelligent, beautiful, daughter tried to pull the gas pump out of the car while still pulling up on the handle. (Insert screaming mother here). I grabbed the pump from her and informed her that maybe she needed another lesson in pumping gas. Oh dear.What a day.

hAppy fAthErs dAy!!!

2010-06-20T10:14:00.000-07:00

What great men I have in my life. My father. My hubby. My father-in-law. My brothers. My brothers-in-law. My four sons. I feel VERY blessed.

Honestly, I don't think I could write anything more than I did when I did a tribute to my hubby and my dad on their birthdays.

Click HERE to read my post about my dad.

Click HERE to read my post about my hubby.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!! Celebrate it well.

The Jacket.

2010-06-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

The pictures don't do it justice. Trust me. It was fabulous!

Have no idea what I am talking about???

Then read my previous post: Retro Night.

Retro Night.

2010-06-16T22:37:00.001-07:00

Tonight I felt like I had gone back in time 20 or so years. I attended an Oak Ridge Boys concert as part of a work conference that I am attending with my hubby. I am going to be honest, when he told me who the entertainment was, um, well, I wasn't really all that excited to go. SO glad I did!

The whole time I was having flashbacks of being a kid and riding around in one of these beauties:
Listening to music on one of these:
On family vacation listening to my parents singing along to them:
We were also privileged enough to get to listen to Willie Nelson, Eddie Rabbit, and Crystal Gayle while driving around in our uber cool VW bus. Those were the days!

The concert tonight brought back a lot of memories. It was fun, oh, and before I forget. . .the jacket that the bass singer (Richard Sterban) had on. . .FABULOUS! I took some pics with my phone. I will have to post them later. Seriously. Fab!

Dear Oak Ridge Boys,

Thanks for the enjoyable night and for the memories.

Love- Me

Happy Birthday "BONES"!!!

2010-06-15T09:36:00.001-07:00

HAPPY 15th Birthday, son!!! Wish I could see you today and give you a big hug and a kiss and wish you happy birthday in person!!! Instead of being home, you are HERE celebrating your birthday at scout camp.

Hope you have a fantastic day!!! I seriously cannot believe that you are 15. Where has the time gone???

Love- Mom

Praxis.

2010-06-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

I took the Praxis today. I am glad it is over, but I just want to know what my results are. I won't find out for about 4 weeks.

What is the Praxis??? It is an oh so lovely test that all teachers have to take and pass before they can be considered "highly qualified" teachers. It all came about because of No Child Left Behind. There are parts of the NCLB that I agree with and parts that frustrate me. The Praxis is some of the frustrating part.

The Praxis is based on content knowledge. Basically they test in four content areas: Language Arts, Math, Science, & Social Studies (which includes: Geography, History, Economics, etc.). There is not an official study guide. Basically, just know everything there is to know in each of these areas and you will do great.

I am all for being tested to see if I am a qualified teacher or not. Just give me something as a study guide. Just tell me some general idea of what I need to know and I will learn it. After all, I am not going to know everything there is to know in all of the content areas just in my head. If there is something that I am going to teach to my students that I don't know, then I will brush up on it and learn what I need to.

In my opinion, the Praxis test should be testing me on my ability to be able to find information I don't know about and see if I can learn it and teach it. Not testing me to see if I have all kinds of general information already stored in my head.

Today I was doing fine on the test. The Language Arts and Math were a breeze. Then I hit the Science. . .oh, dear. They had a cross section of an amoeba and I was supposed to know how to label the different parts. What? Who just has that information in their head??? Not me. That is for sure!

History was tough too. I knew some of the answers, but there were some specific questions about Theodore Roosevelt and laws and specifics about his Presidency that I just didn't have in my little brain.

If I didn't pass, I am not going to stress. MANY MANY people take the test several times before they pass it. I hope that I passed, but if I didn't, I guess I will be hitting the text books and brushing up on my knowledge about science and history.

Until then, I will just TRY not to worry about it.

Quick Memory

2010-06-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

My kids are growing up WAY TOO FAST! When I have a memory of them that I haven't written down, I feel the need to do so. I guess it is one way for me to hold on to their childhood.

My boys are upstairs and I just heard one of them tell the other a memory they had from several years ago. I had completely forgotten about it until now. I love listening in on their conversations, especially when they don't know I am :)

Distant Memory:

My youngest son- "Mom?"

Me- "Yes?"

Him- "Can I wear my short-sleeved pants today?"

Me (smiling)- "Sure, go ahead and wear your short-sleeved pants. It is warm enough outside today."

Oh so cute! I guess since we have long-sleeved and short-sleeved shirts he just thought that pants and shorts were long-sleeved and short-sleeved too!

LOVE this memory! :)

Just Stuff.

2010-06-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

Not much going on. Imagine that! It has been so nice. No hospital visits this week. No doctors appointments. No school. No homework. It feels like vacation! Seriously, so nice to have a break.

I was even able to do a project for my daughter's room. It is a cork board that I was going to throw away because part of the cork had torn off when we moved. So glad I decided to do a little make-over on it instead! It will look super cute with her new vanity. You can CLICK HERE to sneak a peek at the cork board if you want :) If you do, let me know what you think!

Next week will be a little bit busier than this week. We will be heading out of town for work stuff. So, I am going to enjoy the peace and quiet of this week and just soak it all in!

Happy Summer!

Sunday Pictures

2010-05-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

Want to know which pictures were my favorites??? Then CLICK HERE and check out my craft bloggity blog :)

Finally!

2010-05-28T15:49:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY updated my craft blog. I had a little project I was working on for my daughter's bedroom. Wanna see it???

If so, CLICK HERE.

Let me know what you think! :)

Expensive.

2010-05-27T22:32:00.000-07:00

We just got our bill for our little excursion up north on the airplane. Gasp! Gulp! Faint!

Life Flight to Primary Children's- $16,000.00

That is only for the flight. Not the two ER visits here, the two CT scans, the two ambulance rides, and the 4 day stay in the Neurological Trauma Unit. Can't wait for those bills to start piling in. I am sure they will be here soon.

No amount of money will EVER be worth more than the health & safety of my child. However, that said, it totally stinks that we will still be paying for this whole incident years from now. *Sigh*

We will be heading back up north next week for more tests on my son to see how his head is healing and to make sure that he is fine cognitively and physically. I am hopeful that all will be well. He has improved leaps and bounds this week. So happy about that!

Dear Self.

2010-05-26T21:26:00.000-07:00

As you are studying to take the Praxis test this summer please remember that it will all be worth it in the end.

Please remember that you are trying to do something that will make the difference in the lives of those who may need you.

Please remember that even though jumping through all the hoops may be a pain right now, once you have the diploma in your hand, it will all be worth it.

Please remember why it is you are doing this.

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.'

His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.'

His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken.'

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school... He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.'

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, 'Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.'

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets.'

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, 'Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.'

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, 'Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you.'

*Even though this story isn't true (it was written in in 1976 as a fictional story by Elizabeth Silance Ballard for Home Life Magazine). I am sure that there are some Teddy's out there that have had their lives touched by a teacher.

PLEASE Let Him Be Okay. . .

2010-05-25T20:48:00.000-07:00

I am stressing out. I just told my son that he can go to school tomorrow. I am stressing about it. I got the okay from the doctors, as long as my son PROMISES to take it easy. They aren't doing anything exciting tomorrow. Just turning in books and signing yearbooks.

We already made arrangements for a friend of his to sit by him and keep an eye on him on the bus. Other friends and all the teachers know to keep an eye on him at school. My son knows what he can and cannot do. Two feet on the ground at all times. No running. No roughhousing. No jumping. No tipping back on chairs. In other words, nothing but walking or sitting. Sounds exciting, huh?

He has begged me to let him go tomorrow. I am seriously nervous, but I know that he needs the social interaction and I know that there are a lot of kids worried about him since his accident. They would all love to see him and to know that he is okay.

It will just be hard to let him go and HOPE that nothing happens to bump his head. I told him that maybe he should wear his motocross helmet all day. He didn't go for it. Can't imagine why.

Next week we go back to Primary Children's for more tests. I certainly hope that we find that everything is healing well. Until then, please keep your fingers crossed for me that everything is going to be okay.

Who would have thought that sending your child to school for one day could be so stressful!?!

If Wishes Were Fishes. . .

2010-05-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you could do ANYTHING you wanted??? I do. I try not to spend too much time obsessing over it because it wouldn't be healthy. However, it is fun to just imagine what life could be or would be if wishes came true.

I wish. . .

. . .I could make a living with my camera. Wow, how fun would it be to actually get PAID to take pictures. I know it is possible, but there are just SO many people out there trying to do the same thing that it isn't very likely I would actually make enough money to call it a "job".

. . .I could make a living being creative. I LOVE to create stuff. I LOVE to take all of the ideas in my head and turn them into tangible stuff. Now if I could only get paid to do it.

. . .that I could be a photographer, interior designer, graphic designer, artist, jewelry designer, fashion designer, purse designer, shoe designer, architect, landscape designer, writer, and world traveler all at once! That would be amazing!

. . .that I had so much money I didn't even need to work! Heh, heh. That would be awesome! Then all the things I want to do could just be my hobbies!

. . .that I were debt free.

. . .that all my kiddos could be happy and healthy and injury free.

. . .that I could find a magic bottle with a genie in it. Then I could actually make some of my wishes come true.

Okay. I am done with my wishing. It was good to get it all out. Now back to reality ;)

Things I Learned at Primary Childrens

2010-05-16T10:42:00.001-07:00

I had a lot of time to ponder while I was at the hospital with my son last week. The light hurt his eyes and noise was also an issue. So, we basically sat in a dark, quiet room. After the craziness of my life with school and moving and everything else that has happened over the past year, it has been a LONG time since I have just sat and done nothing.

So, while I was there, my brain was thinking about all that we were experiencing while we were at our stay in the Neurological Trauma Unit at Primary Children's hospital.

Here are some things that stuck with me:

*The parent "beds" are not beds at all, but rather some kind of a torture device.

*Being admitted through the ER Trauma room was quite the experience. We were whisked into a room with about 10 or so nurses, doctors, surgeons, and even a social worker. It was seriously like a scene from ER.

*The Life Flight plane is about the fastest way you can get up north. I have flown on planes up there before, but this was the fastest I have ever gotten there!

*The food. Well, the food for my son was anything that he wanted. Not that it mattered, because he was too sick to eat. The food for us. Cafeteria. It wasn't awful, but I certainly wouldn't want to eat it everyday.

*CAFFEINE FREE DIET COKE! YES! The cafeteria had fountain drinks and they actually had decaf diet coke. It almost made me cry! I was so happy!

*There are a lot of people up there that are worse off than you. When I saw all of the little kids up there in the Neuro Trauma Unit that had had brain surgery and were recuperating from things much worse than we were, I was thankful and sad at the same time. Thankful it wasn't us, sad that it was them.

*Shared bathrooms, not for parents. In the room we were in, it was a private room, but it had a shared bathroom. The shared bathroom was only for the patients. Not the parents. We had to go out and down the hall to a bathroom. It was a busy bathroom! Only one stall. Every time I went to use it, I had to wait because someone else was in it. Word to the wise, don't wait until the last second, give yourself plenty of time if you need to go because you don't know how long you will be waiting. Once you finally do get in, don't plan on being in there long. About the time you sit down, someone else will be knocking to try and get in.

*Teaching hospitals. What a great concept. Just be prepared if you are staying there that you will have a Doctor and his "posse" there. The Doc walks in and behind him walk 5-8 interns to poke and prod at you. My son was so funny. One night he said, "I am just so sick of being poked at all the time! Why can't they just let me sleep?"

*We met more doctors, surgeons, nurses, interns, nurse assistants, social workers, education specialists, etc. during our stay there than I have in my entire life.

*The staff was wonderful. They really did have my son's best interest and comfort at heart. Everyone was so great to work with. They always kept us up to date on what was happening and made sure we understood everything that was going on. I always felt like my son was in good hands.

*Finally, I hope to NEVER have to go back for an extended stay. Knock on wood! Here is hoping that my kids can just stay happy, healthy, and accident free for a LONG LONG time to come!

Happy #10 Baby Bear!

2010-05-15T09:15:00.001-07:00

True story: Two weeks ago we were at a track meet. We had been there quite a while and I told my hubby, "We need to get home, our 8 year old will be home all alone if we don't hurry!" About that time, my son who was with us said, "Um, mom, he will be 10 next week. He isn't 8."

WOW! Time flies!

I am not sure how the last 10 years have flown by so quickly, but they have.

Happy Birthday Baby Bear! No matter how old you get, you will ALWAYS be MY baby!

The Good. The Bad. The Ugly & The Wonderful.

2010-05-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

THE GOOD.
Jake was released from the hospital. He has been improving and was able to go without Morphine long enough to go home. We arrived home safe & sound. He was so happy to get home!

The BAD.
It will take about 6-8 weeks for his brain to heal and we will be making several trips up north this summer for check-ups, MRI's, motor skill exams, and cognitive learning exams, etc.

Side affects he is suffering from or will potentially suffer from: nausea, vomiting, light sensitivity, sound sensitivity, unable to concentrate, irritability, mood swings, fatigue, anxiety. . .just to name a few. These symptoms can last anywhere from 4-6 weeks, or longer.

The Ugly.
They asked us if he had any seizures during all of this. So far he hasn't. They said it was a possibility. Keeping my fingers crossed that does NOT happen.

We were told that there is a possibility for long term effects from his accident. Some that may not show up until 6-12 months from now. That is a LONG time to wait. . .and to wonder. . .

The WONDERFUL!
I have been brought to tears many times over the past several days by the outpouring of love and support we have had through all of this. Family and friends, scout leaders, neighbors, Jake's school administration, teachers, doctors, nurses, and more. There has been so much love and support for him, it has helped me realize how many lives this child of mine has touched. We have always called him our "little ray of sunshine", I can see that other people have seen this trait in him as well.

Even though the road to a full recovery is going to be longer than we hoped, I know that with the love and support and prayers from our family and friends that we are going to come through all of this just fine.

Perspective. Again.

2010-05-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

I never would have thought when I woke up yesterday morning that I would end up flying to Primary Children's Hospital with my son.

Friday he fell and hit his head while playing on a pogo-stick of all things. They said he had a mild concussion and gave us some medicine and sent us home. We figured within a day or so he would be back to his same 'ol self. Saturday came and went. Things were not improving. Sunday came, things seemed to be getting worse. My mom instinct kept telling me to take him back to the ER on Saturday, but I thought I was just being overprotective and thought that I should just listen to what they told me when they discharged him on Friday.

Finally by Sunday afternoon, I told my hubby to call the ER because I just knew that things weren't right with our son. He called. They said bring him back in.

Long story short. Another CT-Scan revealed that he had a fractured skull, bruising, swelling, and some bleeding on his brain. PANIC! Not something you want to hear about your child.

They called Primary Children's and the neurologist there said to get him here as soon as possible.

So, one ambulance ride to the airport. A Life Flight plane ride, and another ambulance ride to Primary Children's and here we are.

Everyone here has been so helpful and great to work with. I know our son is in good hands. It is just so hard to see him in so much pain.

Perspective on what life is truly all about hit me hard yesterday. Everyone kept asking me how I was enjoying my mother's day.

Well, mother's day was a little bit different for me this year. It was emotional and not at all what I expected it to be; however, it showed me what mother's day is really all about. It made me realize how unconditionally I love each one of my kids and how I would do absolutely anything for them. That is what it really means to be a mother. I don't need cards or flowers to tell me that. Just being here for my son and knowing that he is getting the best care possible is the only gift I needed.

Happy Mothers Day

2010-05-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

It is hard to find a gift for my mother. I never know what she wants. This year my gift was simple. A gift from the heart. A quick look back through the past 40 years of her life and memories as a mother.

Love you mom. Hope your day is great. Happy Mothers Day!

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You Get What You Ask For. . .

2010-05-04T19:57:00.001-07:00

Tonight I took my youngest son to get a bite to eat. You see I felt like a bad mother because I had finals today and could not make it over to his school for the "Family Lunch" that they had today. He seemed fine with dinner instead (he actually said it was a much better idea) so, my guilt was able to subside. That is the down side of being in school. My schedule is probably less flexible than it is if I were working.

So, we are sitting at dinner (El Pollo Loco, yum!) and my son offered me a bite of his churro. Here is how it went down.

Him- "Do you want a bite of my churro"

Me- "Nope, buddy, I am getting too fat."

Him- "Think about it mom. At least you aren't a fat as (insert name of an obese person you know, I am omitting the name he said to protect the innocent)."

So, I am wondering. . .was that some kind of a compliment? Or was it a way to say, "Yep, you are fat, just not as fat as so-in-so. Haha!

I guess you get what you ask for :)

IRONMAN and Cheapskate Dance

2010-05-02T11:22:00.000-07:00

At the finish line:

Finish line

Halfway through the marathon

Hanging out with cousins downtown :) during the Iron Man

Iron Man! We went down to the finish line last night and watched some of the athletes cross the finish line. It was an amazing thing to see. It is so unfathomable to me that these people can push their bodies to do what they did. 2.4 mile swim; 112 mile bike ride; 26.2 mile run.

One thing that I wasn't able to get a picture of, but sure wished I could have, was a guy who had crashed on his bike and broken his collar bone in 3 places and was still there completing the marathon. He had his arm all bandaged to his side and had a bag of ice on his shoulder. Now that is what I call dedication!

CHEAPSKATE Dinner

80's Fitness Posing

Ninja Destruction!

Cheapskate dance! The theme for the dance was 80's Fitness. They came up with some interesting looking clothes, don't you think??? The idea behind the dance is to make the entire date as CHEAP as possible. So, some of them hit thrifts stores to find clothes, others raided their parents closets. Then dinner was paper plates, plastic cups, and pizza with ice cream sundaes for dessert.

If You Have It---They Will Come.

2010-04-29T21:19:00.000-07:00

The craziness of the Iron Man has started. Our town is full of hustle and bustle with all of the people who will be here competing for the weekend.

According to the Iron Man registration:

2,200 athletes from 30 countries and 47 states will be participating in this inaugural event in St. George. 72 qualifying positions are at stake for the 2010 World Championship held in Hawaii.

Amazing!

I SO WISH that I could go be at the finish line on Saturday to cheer and watch the finishers! We were going to, but now we have some family stuff we have to do instead :( Kind of bummed. Oh well, family is more important anyway, right???

Good luck to all of those competing!!! It is an amazing accomplishment. It fascinates me that a human body is even capable of such a feat!

Unexpected.

2010-04-28T16:36:00.001-07:00

Today was my last day of Practicum. What is Practicum??? It means that I have been assigned to an elementary school and a specific classroom to go and observe/teach in for the semester. Basically it means I get to "practice" the things I am taught in my classes the rest of the week. I go once a week to the same classroom. Next semester will be another school and another classroom.

I went to Practicum today and had a little "gift" for the students. It was just a pencil and a plastic stencil thing with shapes they could trace. They were excited. It was something super simple, but they thought it was great. If only my own children could be so easily satisfied!

About mid-day, the students gave me a bouquet of flowers and each one of them had written me a nice thank you card. They are in 2nd grade, so the cards were super cute. They told me that they loved me and were going to miss me and that I was the greatest teacher ever. That kind of stuff.

The unexpected part??? Well, there is a student in the class that really struggles. This student struggles with a learning disability and some emotional problems. He rarely smiles. Rarely shows emotion (unless it is anger) and spends a lot of time at the Principals office, Counselors office, at a table at the back of the room. You get the idea. I have had to help this student one-on-one quite a bit because he is always behind on his work. There are times when he flat out refuses to do his work and throws tantrums. Things like banging his head on his desk, throwing his papers on the floor, breaking his pencils. You know, fun stuff like that ;)

So, on with the unexpected. When the teacher announced that it was the last day that I would be there, this student and I were sitting at the back table doing his math worksheets. He looked up and said, "What?". . .then the teacher told him that it would be my last day there. He got this horrified look in his eye and then started crying. Not a tantrum kind of a cry, but a heartbroken kind of a cry. Before you know it, I had tears in my eyes, the teacher had tears in her eyes, and so did the aide that was in there helping. Sheesh!!!

I didn't expect to get choked up, but even more than that, I didn't expect the most difficult kid in the entire class to care one bit that I was leaving. It just goes to show, you may touch someone's life in a way that you don't expect, and they may touch yours in a way you don't expect.

A quote I once read says: "They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

I found out how true that was today.

FINALS!

2010-04-26T06:24:00.000-07:00

You would think that at my age finals week would be something long ago from my past. Not the case. Here I sit stressing over the 6 finals that I have coming up. Two this week. Four next week. It is during finals week that I always ask myself, "What was I thinking going back to school at my age?" Then finals week comes and goes and I am back to myself again and I know why I went back to school at my age.

I think I stress more about finals now then I did back when I was a young college student. I am not sure why that is the case, but it is. I know that I spend far more time studying for finals now than I used to. Cramming all that info into my brain isn't nearly as easy as it used to be, that's for sure! However, it IS doable.

After this semester, I will have two more semesters and then I will be off to student teach. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Only two more times will I have to survive finals week for my BS degree. Then the big decision will be. . .do I go on to get my Masters? PhD? Probably. I am crazy like that, you know.

Enough chitter chatter. I am off to study for finals!

Perspective.

2010-04-24T17:36:00.000-07:00

As I was out on my walk/run with the dog this morning, this song came on my iPod just as I was finishing up my third mile. It made me smile. It made me happy. It made me think.

Sometimes all you need in life is a little perspective. In the large scheme of things, my life is pretty darn good. I just need to remember to dream a little bit more and stress a little bit less :)

Enjoy!

Dear World.

2010-04-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

Dear World,

Normally I am a pretty happy person and can deal with what has been thrown my way. I can usually deal with pretty much anything and not stress about it too much because I know that tomorrow is another day. Lately, however, I have been pretty overwhelmed. I don't mean to complain, but can you please just let me deal with everything on my plate before you dish out anything else? I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Sincerely,
Me :)

Two Weeks and Then Finals!

2010-04-20T19:45:00.001-07:00

I am almost there. I have almost survived another semester of school! I am counting down the days until Summer. I need the break like you cannot imagine! I have been in school since last May with only a couple of weeks between semesters. It has felt like I have been going non-stop for a year now. My brain is tired and needs a rest :)

After this semester, I will have two more semesters of classes and then I will student teach. I am sure that it will be here before I know it. At least I hope it feels like it is here quick!

I have to take the dreaded Praxis test this summer. I think I will keep my comments to myself on my thoughts about the Praxis. I am dreading it, and I don't really agree with the whole idea behind it. Like I said, I will keep my comments to myself. It is just something that I have to do, and if I don't pass it, I won't get my teaching certificate. Of course I am able to take it as many times as I need to in order to pass it for $150 a pop. GRRRRR!

I am trying not to let the Praxis test weigh on me too much. I just have to put it at the back of my mind and try not to dwell on it. I need to try and prepare for it the best I can, and just do the best I can. If I don't pass it, I will take it again until I do. Persistence! That will be my mantra for the Praxis test :)

Well, enough for now! I need to finish getting ready to teach 2nd graders about changing irregular nouns into plurals. Fun stuff!

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

2010-04-19T10:15:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel frustrated or overwhelmed??? Man, I sure do right now! I know that I am truly blessed and that I have more than a lot of people, but lately, I feel like we are NEVER going to get on top of things.

What am I talking about???

Well, last year when Bryan's job changed, it put us in a position with our finances that we had never been in before. All of a sudden we were financially strapped. Not a fun place to be! We were paying for two homes and living expenses in two places. I was back in school (still am!), NOT CHEAP!

He was offered a new job and we were thinking YES! Now we can get back to where we were before all of this mess!!! Well, it hasn't been easy. Seriously. Not fun. We are still digging ourselves out of the hole that we got into back then.

We still haven't sold our home up north. UGH! So sick of it! So, that is weighing on us financially.

We were able to build our new home. THANK GOODNESS! Seriously the bright spot in all of this. However, every time we think we are on top of stuff. . .more stuff happens.

For example, we planned on using our tax refund to put new tires on my car, buy blinds and to start putting in the backyard. Guess what? No refund. Instead we got to PAY state taxes. Almost a thousand bucks. How lucky is that?

So, we have been waiting to buy blinds. We have some temporaries up, and they work, I am glad for that. Not glad that I have to wait to get the real blinds, but glad that I don't have sheets on my windows.

Every time we get a little bit ahead and think we might actually have some extra money. . . guess what? Something else happens.

On Saturday, my daughter backed my husbands car into a truck. Nice. Not. I am guessing that it will cost another thousand+ or so bucks to fix his car. If we make an insurance claim, our rates will skyrocket because she is a new driver AND because not so long ago my hubby had an incident on the highway that we had to claim already. It did some pretty bad damage to my car. I am just grateful that the truck she backed into wasn't damaged in any way and that my daughter wasn't hurt!

Seriously, I could go on and on and on, about money right now, but I won't. In the large scheme of things, I know that these situations are all going to pass. The fact of the matter is that all in all I am very blessed. I have a beautiful home and I have food on the table and a husband and children whom I love.

The little instances that keep popping up and taking a thousand bucks here and a thousand bucks there, must be happening to teach me something. Maybe patience? Maybe humility? Who knows. I just hope I learn from it quick so we can quit shelling out $$$ like we have it buried in the backyard! :) Unfortunately, we don't!

Happy Birthday Kam!

2010-04-13T13:25:00.001-07:00

On Sunday we celebrated my oldest son's 19th birthday. I am not sure how it is that I have a 19 year old son when I am only 29, but hey, I guess I do! ;)

Seriously though, I am not sure where the last 19 years have gone. It is a little bit scary when I think about how quickly they have flown by.

I often think about the years of raising Kam and now that he is living on his own I question myself all the time wondering if I have taught him everything a parent needs to in order to succeed in the world. It is a little bit overwhelming to think about!

I will never forget the first time I was actually able to hold him in my arms. When he was born, he had some complications and spent about a week in the neonatal ICU. It was scary being so young myself at the time and having my baby whisk out of the room after he was born for testing. The first time I got to touch him, he was hooked up to so many cords and machines that all I could do was stare at them and wonder if he was going to be okay. I was able to reach my hands in the bed and touch him, but I wasn't able to actually hold him. I remember crying myself to sleep because I was so scared and felt so helpless. All I wanted to do was to protect the small infant that laid in that bed in a way that I had never felt before in my life.

Fortunately, a week later he was unhooked from the machines and able to come home. It was an amazing and scary thing to be a mom the first time. The dynamic of our family completely changed. It went from just my husband and I to a family of three. For the first time I knew what unconditional love was really all about. I felt so protective of my child and I knew that there was nothing that I wouldn't do for him.

Life flew by and here he is at age 19. I am sure that he thinks he no longer needs his parents. I am sure that I am uncool and really more of a pest than anything else. I am sure he thinks that I don't understand what it is like to be 19. That being said, the feelings that I felt for him 19 years ago when he was born are still the same. There is nothing that I wouldn't do to protect him and there is nothing he can do to ever make me stop loving him. The unconditional love of being a parent is something you can't even comprehend until you actually experience it for yourself.

Happy Birthday Kameron!!! Thanks for giving my first taste of what motherhood is really all about.

New School Record!!!

2010-04-10T15:10:00.000-07:00

START LINE

HALFWAY POINT

FINISHED!!!

CONGRATS to my son who officially beat the Freshman school record for the one-miler yesterday at his track meet. The old time: 5:16.8 His time: 5:15.7 WAHOO!!! His name will be put up on a board in the school gym as holding the school record until someone else can come along and beat it.
Once they get his name up there, I will go and take a picture and share it. We are pretty proud of him.

His next goal is to beat the Freshman record for the 2-miler. He is pretty close to doing it, and I think that he probably will by the end of the track season. That would be super exciting if he does. Two records beat in one season would certainly be something to brag about! :)

Not Feeling Like Myself.

2010-04-06T13:24:00.001-07:00

Why? Because it has been SO long since I have sat down and created something. I haven't painted or sanded or nailed or varnished or inked or torn or drawn or photographed much of anything lately. It just doesn't seem like I am myself unless I am creating some kind of something. I guess it is just who I am. I never have thought of myself as the creative "type", but I guess deep down I am. I don't feel like I am accomplishing much of anything when I have all of these ideas and projects in my head that I want to make and create and no time to make them come alive.

I think that is the best part of creating. To take an idea that is floating around in my head and making it come alive and then looking at it and saying, "I did that!" No better feeling I tell ya!

I did do some fun layouts at the Scrapbook Expo a couple of weeks ago. Other than that, there has been a cap on my creative juices and they have not flowed in quite some time.

I wish that school wasn't consuming every part of my free time. I wish that I could magically make more time appear in my day. Since I can't, I will just have to deal with the fact that I won't have time to create much of anything until finals are over with in 4 weeks. **SIGH**

Until then, I will just keep the lid on my creative juices and hope that I can let them flow once again ALL Summer LONG!!! Keepin' my fingers crossed for that!

Update Much???

2010-04-04T18:38:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been short on time, and apparently short on words, because I haven't updated my blog much at all lately.

Seems that the majority of my time is spent cleaning the house, going to school, and doing homework. I don't get a lot of inspiration to write much of anything just from doing those things day in and day out.

I have four more weeks and I will be DONE with this semester! I am seriously so excited! After this semester, I will have two more semesters of classes and then I will student teach. Part of me feels like it will never get here and part of me feels like I can't believe it is happening that soon! After that, I will just have to keep my fingers crossed that there will be a job out there waiting for me. Here's hoping!!!

Upcoming happenings: My oldest son will turn 19 on the 11th of April. Not sure how that is possible considering I am only 29! ;) I can't believe he is that old. This is his last official year of being a teenager! CRaZy!!! Since he moved and took his new job in a different city, we don't get to see him as much as we used to. It is kind of strange. Life has a way of moving on faster than you expect it to.

Diet update: Week one was AWESOME! I lost 5 lbs and I thought that it would be a breeze to lose the rest of what I wanted. Week two, not so great. I didn't lose one single pound! I was disappointed this morning when I got on the scale. However, I did remember that week two on the Biggest Loser is always a hard week, so I am not giving up hope! I am going to keep exercising and keep up on watching what I eat and see what week 3 brings. Hopefully another weight loss! :)

That pretty much covers it. I need to get back to doing homework. So, for any of you who still read this old bloggity blog of mine, now you are updated on the life and times of Lori! :D

Girls Weekend!

2010-03-29T07:39:00.000-07:00

Another Scrapbook Expo goes down in history!

Had another AWESOME time at the expo. This time there were 5 of us that went. We left on Thursday and headed back home yesterday.

Thursday: Arrived in SLC. Dinner @ Zupa's! YUM! Movie: The Bounty Hunter

Friday: VIP from 9 am - Midnight. Lots of scrapping, shopping, and good times.

Saturday: Scrapping from 10- 3:30pm. Digi Scrap class 3:30-5:30 pm. Expo ended at 6 :( Then it was off to dinner at TGI Fridays and a movie : Remember Me. This movie was totally not what I expected. It really makes you stop and think.

Sunday: Headed back home.

Thanks to Brooke, Jessi, Joette, and Tricia for the good times and fun memories!

Can't wait for the next one! :)

PS- Funny story. . .we were all there scrapping for 2 solid days and not ONE of us snapped ONE photo of our trip. What the?

Trying Something.

2010-03-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

I have debated on posting this.

Partly because I feel like I don't want the world to know if I fail. Partly because I hate the fact that I even have to talk about it, and partly because posting this will keep me from throwing my hands up in the air and giving up! No more excuses!

The past two years have not been kind to my body. With school, moving, my kids, my church callings, and well, just life in general, I have pretty much just put myself on the back-burner and quit watching what I eat and quit exercising.

It simply started because there just haven't felt like there were enough hours in the day. I would say, "Tomorrow I will go out and run." "Tomorrow I will eat better." Then it turned to, "When I graduate, then I will have time to exercise." "When I graduate, then I will have time to eat healthier". Lately, I can't help but think, why am I putting it off? What if tomorrow never comes? What if by the time I graduate I look like a person who should be applying for The Biggest Loser? I simply can't do it anymore!

At first I blamed the medication that I take. I was told that one of the side-effects was a 15-20lb weight gain. Well, I HAVE to take the medication, so if that is true, well, then, I guess I just need to try even HARDER to lose weight.

My days are packed from morning to night. I know that fitting in a walk or a jog will not always be easy. Running to Wendy's drive-thru is a heck of a lot easier than fixing dinner when I am too tired to even think. . .but something has to change. I need to find a way to take care of myself no matter how busy I am.

For a year now I have been putting off buying new clothes. I keep saying when I drop 10lbs I will go out and buy new clothes. One month goes by, and then another, and then another. . .and still I do nothing about losing 10lbs.

I am tired of feeling self-conscious about how I look. Enough is enough already! So, Sunday I finally decided it was time to take control and try and lose some weight, but more importantly to start exercising again.

Bryan and I are "competing" with each other to see who can lose the highest percentage of weight by July 1st. I am sure he will win, but I don't care. All I care about is finding me underneath this extra weight that has stuck to me for a couple of years.

I know I will have ups and downs. I know that some weeks will be better than others. That's okay. I just want to keep pushing forward and get back into shape.

Here goes nothing! I am 4 days into it, and so far so good!

TOO Much TO DO! ;)

2010-03-19T10:53:00.001-07:00

I just haven't had time to blog as much as I usually do. Between the move and midterms and my classes and church stuff and my kids, etc. everything else has taken a backseat for now.

The move is coming along. We are officially in the house. Not all the way unpacked, but getting closer. I am going to be glad to be completely settled so that I can just concentrate on finishing up this hectic semester of school and then enjoy the summer! YAY no classes this summer!!! I am so excited! I may not want to go back to school next fall after I enjoy my break ;)

All of the kids seem to have settled into their new bus schedules and Luke has settled into his new school. He was very nervous for his first day, but he quickly found a friend that he had known from his old school that had moved over to this school and he couldn't be happier about that!

I will post some pics of the inside of the new house once I get everything put away and cleaned up. I had to go and order the furniture for our family room and they said it could take up to 3 weeks for it to come. I sure hope it gets here faster than that considering we have no couch or love seat to sit on in that room until it comes!

We still haven't ordered blinds. We were hoping that we would be able to buy them with our tax return. Should have known better! We never get as much back as we hope we will. Right now we have some temporary blinds. They are fine for now, but I will be SUPER excited to get my blinds ordered and on their way! Hopefully next month.

Life is good. Spring is here. The sun is up. The skies are blue. Smiling and happy. Couldn't ask for more than that!

Home Sweet Home

2010-03-08T14:57:00.000-08:00

Summer Break 2008: Moved

Spring Break 2009: Moved

Summer Break 2009: Moved

Spring Break 2010: Moving

Is there some sort of pattern here??? UGH!

We are LOVING our new house so far. It is so pretty. Sure there are things that I want to do to it, like painting some of the rooms, putting in a pool, finishing up the backyard, putting in a fence, shutters for all the windows, put in more wood flooring, etc. However, I am in no hurry, I figure that I have the rest of my life to do all of that.

Right now all I can do is get through yet another move and hope that we can stay put for a VERY long time!

I can't wait until all of the boxes are unpacked and we are settled. That will be a happy, happy day!

To Dad. Love, Kameron.

2010-02-28T15:48:00.000-08:00

Teenagers make life interesting! Need I say more?

Something Other Than. . .

2010-02-27T19:35:00.000-08:00

. . .house pics.

I haven't been able to get pics of the outside of the house now that it is 100% complete. Every time we go over there, the front of the house is blocked by construction vehicles. I am going to try and sneak over there tomorrow and see if I can snap a picture or two, or three, or four ;)

Life is crazy busy. Way busier than I thought that it would be. But, what do I expect? We are in the middle of having a home built, I am in school full-time, Bryan is busy with work, we are getting ready to move, and next week is mid-terms. WHEW! I get tired just thinking about everything.

I really think that I wouldn't know what to do with myself if my life wasn't insanely busy ALL of the time. Maybe I would get bored. Or maybe not! It looks like I won't know for a while though. I still have 2 more semesters of school and then I have to student teach, so life will continue to be ultra crazy for a while. Then I will keep my fingers crossed that I will actually be able to find a job once I am through all of this madness :)

Saturday is IT!

2010-02-24T19:09:00.001-08:00

Here is the front with the railing on the balcony: (They still haven't painted the doors, but they will be the same color as the garage doors.). Getting ready to stain the railing going upstairs:

My solar-tube in the master closet :)

My beadboard-distressed-extra-long-Island:

The builder called today and said that we will be ready for the final walk-thru on Saturday. CRAZY! If they really do get finished by Saturday that will mean that it only took 31 days to build our house. InsAnE!!!

We have watched carefully and there have been no corners that have been cut. Everything so far has exceeded our expectations. It has been amazing to watch the home go up so fast.

We never expected to build a new home. Given the fact that we have had so many issues getting our house up north sold and stuff, we are feeling very blessed to be building this home.

Life has many twists and turns and you never know where it will take you. A year ago when we were going through everything with Bryan's job change and stuff, we often wondered how humble we had to get before things started to look up for us. It has been a crazy year and we still have a few hurdles to overcome, but we are feeling very happy that we have a place that we can stay put and call home for a VERY LONG time!

Getting Closer!

2010-02-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

It is getting closer to being done! I can't wait until the exterior doors are painted to match the garage doors. That will help tie it all together :)

I took a picture of the kitchen at it is right now; however, it won't be that way for long. They were supposed to put a distressed black cabinet in for the Island, but they didn't. They matched it to the cabinets. They will change that out this week and then install our granite countertops. Can't wait!

They told us that we should be ready to close/move-in within 1 1/2 - 2 weeks. Hardly seems possible!

Day 21

2010-02-17T18:43:00.001-08:00

It has been 21 days since we officially had our building permit. Yes, in 21 short days our home has gone from nothing to this:

The color coat of stucco is on and all of our trim and doors are painted. The driveway has been poured, and everything is ready for the walls to be painted tomorrow. I cannot believe how fast this is going!!! Crazy!

We are getting excited to move into our new house! I am not looking forward to the packing and unpacking, but I am SO excited to finally feel a little bit settled again!