My blog is neglected. Sometimes life just has a way of getting in the way of me writing down what is going on. Kinda funny how that works. Other times I feel like I don't have anything important, funny, or interesting to say, so I don't write. Then I remember, hey, this is MY blog, and I can write boring stuff if I want to! :)
We moved our oldest son up north a couple of weeks ago. He is getting settled and trying to find his place in the world. He has a new job, and a new apartment. I know he feels lost right now. Such an awkward phase of life. The first couple of years after high school left me feeling the same way. Wondering who I was, and what I really wanted out of life. He knows what he should be doing. He knows where he should be right now. Unfortunately, fear and doubt keep him from doing what he knows a boy his age and his religion should be doing at this point in his life.
All we can do is hope that he is happy no matter what he decides to do in the future. He isn't a bad kid. In fact he is a pretty awesome kid. He is a hard working and dependable kid. He is well liked by his coworkers and his friends. He is just stuck in that no man's land between being a boy and a grown man. As I said, I remember that phase of life all too well.
I have decided that the hardest part of being a parent is watching your kids make some of the same stupid mistakes you made, and no matter how much you warn them, or how much you tell them you've been there, they STILL have to make the same stupid mistakes and learn from them. It would be so much easier if they would just listen and learn from the mistakes their parents made. Wouldn't it?
I wish my son would see the importance of a good education. I don't want him to be like me; trying to juggle a family and college classes at the age of 40-something. It isn't easy. I would give anything if I had finished up my degree back before we started a family. It would have put us in a much different situation than we are currently in. A lot of things would have been easier the past 2 years if both my husband and I had gone to college and graduated. Oh, man, how I wish my oldest son could see that! Maybe he will. Maybe, just maybe, he won't have to learn the hard way.
Even if he does learn the hard way, I guess the fact that he is learning and growing is the positive outlook on it. At least he is a functioning and contributing member of society. At least he has a family who loves him and supports him. At least he is hardworking and reliable.
I just wish he could see how much easier life would be if he would actually take the path that he knows he should be on, and that those choices would bring him more happiness than any paycheck he works so hard for right now.